


the best way to spread christmas cheer

by mixtapestar



Category: Lovely Little Losers
Genre: Alternate Universe, Christmas, Demisexuality, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-09 11:24:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 23,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5538068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mixtapestar/pseuds/mixtapestar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Balthazar hadn’t gone to Messina High? What if he were meeting Peter right now, after their first year of uni?</p><p>Or, 25 days of Peter and Balthazar.</p><p>(Now with an epilogue!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the best way to spread christmas cheer

**Author's Note:**

> Written for ganglyteeth @ tumblr for the Nothing Much to Do Secret Santa exchange. Originally posted at [lolilo-merryxmas](http://lolilo-merryxmas.tumblr.com).
> 
> This fic will address demisexuality. You can find out more about demisexuality at [demisexuality.org](http://demisexuality.org/articles/what-is-demisexuality/).

DECEMBER 1

As much as Balthazar appreciates Rosa letting him stay at her apartment while he attends university, he knows that it’s keeping him from getting to know new people. It’s going on a year since he came out to Wellington, and he still only has three friends.

Which is why he accepts Paige’s invitation to come out drinking with her and Chelsey, even though Balthazar doesn’t drink that much.

Navarre Bar is way more crowded than any of them are expecting, though, so they have to wait a while before they’re able to grab three seats in a row at the bar. As soon as they sit, they’re approached by a Ridiculously Cute Bartender whose smile makes Balthazar do a double-take.

“Peter!” shouts Paige, who treats everyone she meets like they’re her best friend. She immediately starts a debate with the bartender over their finest beer before eventually settling on something else entirely. Chelsey orders the same.

“And what about for you?” Peter-the-bartender asks, turning his focus on Balthazar.

“Oh, uh. I dunno. Cider?”

Peter smiles easily. “Scrumpy?”

“Yep.”

“You have much finer tastes than your friends,” Peter says, serving him first.

“I’m just the least argumentative,” Balthazar points out.

“You know what you want,” Peter says. “It’s an attractive quality.”

Balthazar takes in his charming smile with a smile of his own. He’s flattered, even though this guy doesn’t even know him. Still, he’s grateful when Paige starts giving him a hard time, drawing his focus away.

“So I want to hear how your history class went,” Chelsey says after Peter walks off to serve other customers. “Did you ever work out your final essay?”

Balthazar suddenly realizes with that question how long it’s been since he’s seen the two of them, and he works to catch them up on his life - what he hasn’t been sending over text, anyway.

Balthazar nurses his drink for a while, more interested in the conversation, which leaves him with half a glass remaining when Chelsey sees a text on her phone and her expression suddenly turns nervous.

“What is it?” Paige asks, her arm immediately going around Chelsey.

Chelsey shows her the text, and Paige purses her lips. She doesn’t look as worried, but Balthazar is still concerned. “What’s up?”

“Our cat is sick,” Chelsey says urgently. To Paige, she says, “We have to go home and check.”

“I know. We will. Go on out and call a cab; I’ll settle up.”

“Thank you,” Chelsey says sincerely before turning to Balthazar. “Sorry, it’s just… she’s our baby.”

“It’s okay,” Balthazar says easily.

“We’ll get your drink, too,” Paige assures him, ignoring his protests. “It’s probably nothing, but she worries.”

“We’ll catch up soon,” Balthazar says, and then gives her a side-hug goodbye. He watches her approach the bartender down the bar and realizes from the way they’re interacting with each other that Paige actually does know him. He’s not sure how he missed that before, but she’s definitely reaching across the bar to give him a quick hug.

His drink only half gone, Balthazar decides to hang out and mess around on his phone for a few minutes. He tries not to think about how pointless it was to try to be social for once.

Within a minute, though, a voice from his right drifts into his thoughts, breaking his concentration in the game he was playing. “Hey, gorgeous,” says the gravelly voice, and Balthazar freezes up, suddenly uncomfortable. He tries to ignore the guy, this complete stranger, but he’s leaning into Balthazar’s space now. “Who left you all alone up here? Why don’t I buy you a drink?”

Balthazar doesn’t quite look up at the guy. “Oh, er, I’m actually already working on this one.”

“I’m in no hurry,” the guy says. Balthazar grips his phone tightly, starting to panic at the thought of shutting this guy down.

“Excuse me,” comes a soothing but firm voice, and Balthazar’s gaze jerks up to find Peter-the-bartender looming above them. “I hope you’re not bothering my boyfriend, here,” Peter says, and for a panicked moment Balthazar thinks the slimy guy next to him is Peter’s boyfriend. But then Peter reaches out and rests his hand casually on Balthazar’s wrist, and he gets it.

The guy scowls, and Balthazar gets a look at him for the first time. Way too old, definitely creepy, but he’s already backing away. “He never said anything about a boyfriend.”

“I think there’s a seat open on the other side of the bar,” Peter suggests, and the guy goes willingly. Balthazar relaxes his grip on his phone, releasing a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

“You alright?” Peter asks calmly, swiping his thumb over Balthazar’s wrist lightly before pulling his hand away. “I’ve seen that guy in here before. Never liked the look of him.”

“Better now,” Balthazar admits. “I appreciate it.”

“I’m Peter.”

“Balthazar,” he responds, smiling.

“Look, I get off in fifteen. I doubt that guy’s gonna be gone by then, why don’t I walk you out?”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” Balthazar immediately says, feeling slightly guilty at the thought of putting him out. “I’ll be fine.”

“I’m sure you will,” Peter says, “but I won’t feel that I’ve really sold the story if I don’t at least say goodnight to you.”

Balthazar feels a little bit over his head, suddenly, but something about the gentle way Peter had cut in and the quirk of Peter’s lips makes him want to say yes. So he does.

Peter takes his hand as they walk out together, and it’s almost easy to fall for the ruse himself, as if he’s known Peter for ages. As soon as they step outside, though, Peter squeezes his hand briefly before pulling his away.

“Which way are you headed?"

“Oh, I catch the train. My sister’s place is west of here.”

“Oh, cool! I actually catch the train too. We can walk over together.”

“Sure,” Balthazar says, letting Peter lead the way.

“So are you at university?” Peter asks.

“Yeah, just finished up the year a few weeks back.”

“Same here,” Peter says. “I’ve been taking a lot of politics classes. Still trying to figure out what my focus should be.”

“Mostly music classes for me,” Balthazar says. “It’s kind of my thing.”

“Oh yeah?” Peter says. “What do you play?”

Balthazar laughs in spite of himself. “Um, quite a lot, actually. Y’know, guitar, drums, piano…”

“Pots and pans?” Peter suggests with a smirk.

“Hey, you give me pots and pans, and I can probably make something of it,” Balthazar says as Peter directs them around a corner. He’s confused for a second because he thought they had a straight shot to the train, and his confusion must show on his face.

“I think this a shortcut,” Peter says, seeing Balthazar’s confusion.

“Oh, well we don’t have to take a shortcut,” Balthazar says. He’s actually quite enjoying the night, and his train runs late enough that he’s not worried.

“Just trust me,” Peter says, so Balthazar leaves it alone, knowing Paige wouldn’t have given him a half-hug if he wasn’t a halfway decent person.

They continue talking about classes, music, and hobbies, and Balthazar discovers Peter finds puns way too funny. Peter just about loses it when Balthazar talks about camping as “intense” (in-tents).

“I’m pretty sure we just walked in a circle,” Balthazar realizes as he spots the same bird statue from fifteen minutes ago.

“Really?” Peter asks, his face scrunching up adorably as he glances behind and around them. “I must’ve gotten… turned around…”

Peter’s cheeks are red, though, and not just from the walking. Balthazar’s chest does something funny as he realizes Peter may have misdirected them on purpose to make the walk longer. They go the right way this time, but when they get close enough to almost see the train station, Balthazar gets a sudden impulse to do the same thing. He turns them around a corner that’s obviously not the right way, and Peter smiles and calls it another shortcut.

“Yeah, I dunno, the walk is always longer than I expect it to be,” Balthazar quips, feeling that same flutter in his chest as Peter laughs.

Peter continues his camping story about his flatmates right where he left off, doing what Balthazar has to assume are exaggerated impressions of them. The two of them are cracking up again by the time they approach the train station.

As they approach the platform, Peter heading east and Balthazar heading west, Peter clears his throat. “You know, I only live a few stops away, if you wanted to come hang out some more.”

Balthazar’s chest tightens up uncomfortably. “Oh, I don’t—"

“I know it’s kinda late, just—” Peter interjects.

“—think that, no, yeah, I should probably get home.”

“—yeah, ‘course.” Peter performs a silly, dramatic bow. “It was nice to be your boyfriend for an evening.”

Balthazar snickers. “Yeah, man, thanks again. It was good to meet you.”

He sees his train coming and at the same time, Peter begins pulling his phone out of his pocket. Balthazar panics, because he knows Peter will ask for his number, and he doesn’t want to ruin this good night by having to explain he’s never going to be looking for a hookup.

“This is me, I’d better run. Have a good night!” he says without looking back as he steps up on the platform.

“Right. Goodnight!” Peter says distantly, and Balthazar half-turns to smile and wave back without really looking at Peter. He slips into the doors in the middle of a mass of people getting off and grabs a handrail. Letting out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, he chances a look at Peter. He’s staring down at his phone with a frown, clearly already on to the next thing in his evening.

Balthazar closes his eyes and thinks back to Peter’s thumb on his wrist at the bar, and his guilty smile when Balthazar realized the nature of the “shortcut”. He finds himself smiling as the train pulls out of the station.

***

DECEMBER 2

Despite his good mood from the night before, Balthazar wakes up the next day feeling pretty lousy. Lousy enough to unload everything on Kit when he first texts, then calls to see how Balthazar is doing.

“Sorry,” Balthazar says when he’s finally covered the point where he got back on the train, “I know that was a lot.”

Kit laughs. “No worries, man. It sounds like a pretty cool experience. What’s got you down about it?”

“I dunno.” Balthazar sighs, scribbling in the margins of his notebook. He’d spent his morning jotting down lyrics for a new song, but he ended up crossing out more than he’d written. “I guess I just worry that…” he takes a deep breath, “being demi, I’m never going to meet someone I click with… that will also want to hang around long enough for me to be ready for a relationship.”

“I hear you,” Kit says, and Balthazar already feels better for having said it. “And I’d just like to point out, for what it’s worth, the guy still wanted your number even after you turned him down.”

“Yeah, but I’d only turned him down for last night,” Balthazar says. Still, Kit’s got a point. It wouldn’t have really hurt him to give Peter-from-the-bar his number. And then maybe he wouldn’t feel so guilty today about the abrupt way he’d left.

“Sure,” Kit responds, letting Balth get away with his excuse, “but no one’s ever going to know your feelings on this if you don’t say anything.”

Balthazar hums his agreement. It’s been hard enough telling his friends and his sister in a way that makes any sense. There’s no way he could have told a practical stranger there on the platform for the train.

“Chin up, man. One day you’ll meet a guy that gets it. And then you’ll write him all these ridiculous songs and make the rest of us sick with how cute you are.”

Balthazar laughs. “Thanks, Kit.”

“Do you feel any better about it?”

“A bit,” Balthazar admits. “Thanks for listening.”

“Any time.”

When Balthazar’s phone rings fifteen minutes later, he assumes it’s Kit calling back. To his surprise, it’s Paige, who never calls, always texts.

“Hey, Paige,” he answers, putting her on speaker so that he can continue brainstorming his new song.

“Balthazar, hi!” she says brightly. “How are you today?”

“I’m doing alright.”

“Great! I just wanted to say sorry again for bailing on you last night. I hope your night wasn’t totally awful because of us.”

“It wasn’t totally awful,” he admits. “I actually met someone cool.”

“Oh?"

“Yeah, it was going great until he invited me to come home with him.”

“Ooh,” Paige says, intrigued. “What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing,” Balthazar admits, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s just… y’know, not something I want.”

“Shit, that’s right. I knew that. I’m sorry, Balth.”

“It’s okay,” Balthazar says mildly. He considers telling her that it was Peter, someone she apparently knows, but he can’t see what good would come of it.

“Well, on top of me being an absolutely shit friend, I actually called because I wanted to ask a favor?” she says, and Balthazar can practically picture her grimacing smile.

He laughs. “Sure, what do you need?”

“Okay, so Chels and I are in this Christmas play, right? And the director is lots of fun and the music, well, anyway, the thing is that our music guy just dropped out.”

“Uh oh,” Balthazar says.

“Yeah, and I know it’s a really big ask, and the performance is less than three weeks away, but I just thought, you know, you’re really talented, and it would be a lot of fun…?”

“Yeah, alright,” Balthazar says.

“You’ll do it? Really?” At Balthazar’s assurance, she goes on, “Oh, you’re the best! Thank you _so much_. It’s really going to be great, I promise.”

She gives him the address to the studio and just like that, he’s got plans for the evening.

First and foremost, he meets Costa, the director. His audition, if it can be called that, consists of him playing through two pieces from the show on his guitar and then whatever he can think of on first the ukulele and then the harmonica.

“Great!” Costa says, apparently satisfied. “Well, come on out here to the rehearsal space. You’ll want to meet everyone.”

“Balthazar?” comes a bewildered voice as they step out, and Balthazar blinks in surprise at Peter-from-the-bar.

“Oh! You two’ve already met?”

“Yeah, we met last night, actually,” Balthazar says, shooting Paige and Chelsey a look. “Peter saved me from an awful night.”

Balthazar isn’t sure, at first, how to feel about Peter being here, but it is nice when Peter lights up at his comment. “It was definitely a better night than I expected,” Peter says.

“How delightful!” Costa exclaims with what Balthazar is realizing is his usual level of enthusiasm. He quickly jumps in to introductions and then rehearsal with music, saving Balthazar from further awkward conversation with Peter.

At the end of the evening, Costa pulls him aside, suddenly turning serious. “I need assurances from you that you’re fully committed to this. Our last music guy just stopped showing up… and that’s okay! That’s great actually! Because now we have you! And you’re _great_.”

“Thanks?” Balthazar says, not expecting there to finally be a pause.

“So you’ll give your word? You’re 100% committed to the play.”

“Sure,” Balthazar says with a shrug, “seems like it’ll be fun.”

“Great! That’s, that’s just great. Actually, if you could just sign this,” he says, suddenly holding out a document, “and initial here, then I think we’ll be all squared away.”

Balthazar skims through the document to make sure he’s not promising a kidney or anything, but it all seems pretty benign, so he signs it.

“Excellent,” Costa says. “You’re not going to regret this. Now I need you here at 2 PM sharp tomorrow. You’ll be going through the music with each of our actors one-on-one.”

“Wait, one-on-one?” Balthazar asks, but Costa’s already walking away.

“Yep! See you at 2!” Costa shouts over his shoulder, already on to the next thing.

***

DECEMBER 3

His first working session is with Jaquie. She doesn’t sing a lot in the play, so there isn’t a lot to cover.

“Cool, I think we’ve got it,” Balthazar says as they’re wrapping up. “Thanks for getting me up to speed.”

“No problem.”

“So how did you get into this anyway?”

“Oh, well, Peter and I joined up kind of as a laugh at first. Turns out he’s pretty into it though. And I s’pose it can be fun at times. Fun to see what Costa will do next.”

“Yeah, sure,” Balthazar says, staring down at his guitar. He files away this information about Peter for later, not sure if he even needs to do anything with it.

He works with Paige next, who Costa had not-so-subtly hinted needed the most work. Balthazar doesn’t see that, though, and they go through her parts easily, just as if they’re hanging out and he’s helping her with her part.

Peter is up next, and Balthazar doesn’t want to admit to himself how nervous he is. He doesn’t regret turning Peter down the other night; it was the right thing to do. But it was easier to make that decision assuming he’d never see Peter again. As he’d watched Peter goofing around with the other actors yesterday, he realized Peter was someone he’d probably really like to get to know. Too bad he’d almost certainly destroyed any chances of that.

“Knock knock,” Peter says, leaning into the little room and breaking Balthazar from his reverie. “I think we’re supposed to run through the music or something?”

“Yeah, come on in,” Balthazar says. “I’ve already been through it twice. I promise it’s mostly harmless.”

“Mm, that’s what they said about Earth,” Peter says as he takes a seat.

“Nice,” Balthazar responds, pleased at the _Hitchhiker’s Guide_ reference.

At first, Balthazar just plays the music and lets Peter sing along, just like he’s done with the others. But Peter stops him after the second verse of his second song.

“I guess I’m just not sure about that verse,” Peter says. “Y’know? Something about the sound.”

Balthazar plays the verse again, this time singing it himself based on what’s on the page.

“Wow,” Peter says as he finishes the verse.

“What?” Balthazar says with half a laugh.

“Nothing,” Peter answers, glancing back down at the music. “You have a great voice. Alright, so,” he taps his thumb against the side of his chair and sings the verse again.

“Yep, you got it.”

Peter makes a noise of frustration, running a hand through his hair. “It still doesn’t _sound_ right, though.”

Balthazar thinks on that for a second, reading through the words again and ignoring the music given to him. He plays the verse again and changes up the chords, using a minor counterpoint to the first verse.

He looks up at Peter right at the end and raises his eyebrows.

“Yeah, wow, that’s um,” he laughs. “That’s pretty perfect, actually. Can you play it again, and I’ll sing along with you?”

“Do you think Costa will mind if we change it up?” Balthazar asks.

“Yes, definitely, but also he’ll love it.” Balthazar laughs as Peter continues, “Costa’s all about, like, free expression and seeing where the art takes you. Just don’t be surprised if the art takes him somewhere entirely new by the end of the week.”

“Really?” Balthazar says, raising his eyebrows.

“Yeah,” Peter says with a grimace. “Sad thing is I’m starting to get used to his impulses.”

“Uh oh.”

“I know. It’s too late for me, but you can still save yourself! Get out while you still can!”

Balthazar snickers. “Actually, I think I signed a legally-binding document that means I can’t save myself, but I appreciate the sentiment.”

“Ah, who’m I kidding, I would’ve dragged you down with me anyway.” Peter smiles and catches Balthazar’s eye, but Balthazar just laughs and looks away.

“So the song again?” he prompts, and Peter nods, his eyes going softer.

They spend some time going through Peter’s parts in every song, making a few minor changes here and there. Balthazar is impressed with how much thought Peter’s put into his role, and playing the music is a lot more fun now that Balthazar’s got some input.

They work for at least an hour before finally finishing up Peter’s last song. Peter gathers up his stuff, including his revised notes, but he doesn’t leave right away.

“I’m really glad you showed up.” Peter pauses, licking his lips. “I mean, this is going to go a lot better with you here.”

“Thanks. I’m happy to help.”

Peter looks at him for a second, and Balthazar is sure he’s going to say something else. But he just breathes out a laugh and says, “See you tomorrow,” before sending Chelsey in.

***

DECEMBER 4

It’s Friday night, and Balthazar is spending it in a studio performing absurd exercises to “shake out nervous energy.”

Costa had insisted Balthazar join in. “Just because you’ll be sitting stage right doesn’t mean you won’t be on stage.”

So Balthazar is currently playing leap frog with two of his closest friends, two relative strangers, and Peter. He feels ridiculous, but he also feels more unburdened than he has in weeks.

“Okay!” Costa shouts. “Great, now we’re going to switch things up a bit. Everyone pair up. Balthazar, you go with Chelsey. Paige, you’re with Jaquie, and Peter, that’ll put you with me. Perfect. Now, I want you to address your scene partner as if it’s the first time you’re seeing them in a very, very long time.”

“Oh my god, Chelsey!” Balthazar says exaggeratedly. “I almost didn’t recognize you without the bob.”

“Okay, low blow, Stanley. I showed you those pictures in confidence,” she says tartly, though with a smile. She shakes herself to get into character a bit more, then continues, “So… are you still seeing that… guy, the one with the face?”

Balthazar laughs. He’s glad he was assigned to Chelsey for this one. “No, alas, the one with the face is off to find another face.”

“Ah, so you’re ready for a new face?” she says, darting a look toward Peter that Balthazar pretends not to see.

“I’m ready to hear about the faces in your life, actually. You and Paige are still together, I take it?”

That launches Chelsey into her own excited rant, and even though Balthazar knows most of these things from Paige, it’s fun to hear it from Chelsey’s perspective. He’s really glad they have each other, and their cat, who Chelsey is now pulling up pictures of on her phone.

Costa clears his throat loudly then and announces, “Right, great job everyone! Let’s switch partners and go again!”

Balthazar looks around for Paige, hoping for another easy round where he already knows the person, but she beelines for Peter without looking his way. Costa approaches Chelsey to have her put her phone away, which leaves Balthazar with Jaquie.

“Bet you didn’t know you were signing up for improv,” she says with a cheeky smile.

Balthazar shrugs. “Beats babysitting my sister’s cat.”

When Costa gives them the go-ahead, Jaquie slips into this casual posture and glances at him, then immediately does a double-take. “Oh, I’m sorry, is that you? Balthazar?”

He peers back at her, skeptical, and then widens his eyes. “Jaquie! Wow, it’s been forever.”

“Yeah, not since the big fight, I reckon.” Balthazar blinks in surprise, trying to work in this new scenario.

“Right, how have you been? I hope the… hospital bills weren’t too high.”

She smirks, and Balthazar completely misses her next line because he hears Paige saying his name across the room. He glances over to see her deep in conversation with Peter, looking completely natural and not at all like they’re performing awkward improv.

He focuses back on Jaquie and realizes it’s his line. He’s so bad at this. “Um, so how’s your family doing?"

Jaquie shrugs. “As much of a pain as always. My sister keeps stealing my stuff."

Balthazar laughs. “Is it bad if I’m the one that steals my sister’s stuff?” he asks, thinking about their recent argument over bath salts.

Jaquie looks interested. “What do you steal?”

The scene is much more comfortable after that, now that Balthazar can talk about something real, and it doesn’t seem long before Costa calls for another switch.

“Last round, guys! This time make the reunion _really dramatic_.”

Balthazar bites his lip, unsure how he’s going to pull off dramatic, and then he promptly forgets any planning as Peter walks up to him.

“Hi,” Peter says, grinning.

“Hi. I should probably warn you, I’m no good at this. Especially if it’s meant to be dramatic.”

Peter shrugs. “I’ll try to pick up the slack.”

As soon as Costa says go, Peter gasps and puts a hand over his mouth. “Oh God.” He reaches out and puts a hand on Balthazar’s shoulder. “Balthazar, is that you?”

“Yeah, um, it’s me, but I’m not sure I… wait, Peter?”

“Yeah, I know, I’m much more handsome now than when you knew me,” he says, dropping his dramatic expression for a moment to grin. “I can’t believe it’s really you! You look so good,” he continues, skimming his hands down Balthazar’s arms, “not at all like you’d been struck by lightning.”

“Struck by lightning?” Balthazar says before he can catch himself. He’s a little distracted by the way Peter sweeps his gaze over him. “Right, I mean, one of the side effects is that sometimes I forget I was struck by lightning.”

“Yeah, but I mean, the super powers have got to be great, though.”

“Yeah, who knew that all it takes is a simple lightning strike to be able to…”

“—play any instrument set in front of you, I know, right? Like, a normal person would never be able to do that.”

Balthazar laughs, feeling his cheeks burning. “But what about you? Haven’t you set up that, um, super power support group that I heard about?”

Peter grins. “Yes! That’s why I’m so glad I ran into you today. We meet every Wednesday at 8. It would be awesome if you could come by and… play us a song?” he finishes with a laugh.

“Well clearly you’ll need a theme song.”

“Clearly. We are the Super… Super-Marketables, after all.” Peter beams, proud of himself.

“And it would just be embarrassing if you didn’t have a way to market yourself.”

Their scene devolves from there as they continue trading superhero puns, but Balthazar laughs more than he has in a while. He’s a little bit sad when Costa calls for everyone to wrap things up.

In the end, Costa gives a speech about how this exercise really helped them get their energy going again and how much it will help the play. He dismisses them after a reminder of the full run-through they have planned for tomorrow evening.

***

DECEMBER 5

On Peter’s advice, Balthazar doesn’t mention the changes he made to Peter’s songs before the run-through. Costa insists before they start that they will not be stopping for anything, which should hopefully mean he won’t stop to address the changes either.

This is the first time Balthazar is seeing the whole play start to finish, too, which means he’s getting context around the songs for the first time. He knew that Costa’s roles were varied and confusing, but he hadn’t got the full effect until seeing Costa change hats and vests throughout the play to show he’s a different character.

The one thing Balthazar notices, though, is that Costa’s characters tend to gravitate toward Peter. It makes sense, as Peter is the main character, so of course he’s getting the most attention.

Balthazar’s not quite ready for the kiss that happens at the end of the play, though. Peter’s character is excited, overjoyed really that he finally figured out the meaning of Christmas, and he grabs the first person he sees - Costa in a green vest, this time - and plants one on him. It’s inconsequential, really, and it definitely shouldn’t bother Balthazar. Still, he finds himself staring down at the script for a few minutes, listening for his cue to begin the next song rather than watching for it.

At the end of the night, he listens through the notes Costa gives out and takes them in without comment. Costa likes the changes, which is great news, and he actually wants Balthazar to think about changing up even more. But then he moves on to Peter, laying a hand on his arm as he gives him direction. Peter glances at the hand on his arm, almost looking like he wants to take a step back, but he doesn’t say anything.

Balthazar mentally shakes himself from his line of thinking and gathers up his stuff. He’ll feel better about this tomorrow.

***

DECEMBER 6

He comes in to their Sunday rehearsal with more changes to the music. He’s prepared for someone to balk at the changes so close to show time, but everyone is really open to what he has to say.

He hasn’t made any new changes to Peter’s songs. He’s not sure if that was a subconscious decision on his part or not, but it means he doesn’t work with Peter at all during their rehearsal time.

“Hey, Balthazar,” Peter says, stopping him at the end of the afternoon before he can leave.

“Oh, hey, Peter. What’s up?” He runs a hand through his hair absently.

“I just wanted to say, y’know, this is really cool how you’re helping us. It’s all starting to sound really good.”

Balthazar can tell Peter is really invested in this play, and it makes him smile. “I’m just glad no one is burning me at the stake for changing the words around.”

“I was really attached to ‘rain falling from weeping clouds,’ but I think I’ll live with the new version.” Balthazar laughs as Peter goes on, “So where are you headed after this?”

“I’m supposed to meet my sister and a friend of hers for coffee, actually.”

“Oh, cool,” Peter says, looking slightly disappointed. Balthazar considers asking him to come along, but he doesn’t think Rosa would be too happy about it. “Well, hey, why don’t I give you my number? Y’know, in case practice gets moved, or you wanna bounce ideas off each other for songs or whatever.”

“Sure,” Balthazar says easily. Peter smiles and pulls out a pen, taking Balthazar’s hand and writing out his number carefully across his palm.

“I can’t always check my phone at work, so I may not always respond right away. But I will.”

“Sounds good,” Balthazar says, moving his hand back to steady the guitar case he’s holding. “See you on Tuesday, then?”

“Yeah. Enjoy your day off from this craziness.”

***

DECEMBER 7

After Balthazar had stepped outside from practice on Sunday and turned his phone back on, he discovered texts from his sister letting him know that she couldn’t do coffee after all, but he should still go. He hadn’t been too keen on meeting up with a stranger for coffee, so he’d texted back and made an excuse to just go home.

Instead, they’re meeting up today. Balthazar pushes open the door at Boyet’s to find Rosa already engaged in conversation with Fred, who he’s already heard so much about.

“Oh, perfect, Balthazar! This is Fred Boyet. Fred, my brother, Balthazar.”

“Nice to finally meet you,” Balthazar says, smiling. “I’ve heard all about your vegan empire,” he says, gesturing to the shop around them.

“It’s not really my empire,” Fred deflects, “but thanks. Rosa was telling me that you’re vegan as well?”

“Trying to be,” Balthazar says. “It’s… not as easy as I thought it was going to be? Lots of checking ingredient lists in the grocery store.”

They continue to chat about veganism, with Rosa interjecting occasionally.

“What’s that on your hand?” Rosa says suddenly, grabbing at Balthazar’s wrist.

“Oh, it’s just a friend’s number. We’re working on a musical together, and the director has a strict no-phones policy.”

“That’s rough,” says Fred, who has had his cell phone out on the table since Balthazar arrived.

"It's not so bad. I mean, if everyone's focused during rehearsals it definitely goes better."

"Aren't these the 'rehearsals' where you have to, like, play leap frog or something?" Rosa asks, pulling a disgusted face.

Balthazar laughs. "It sounds weird, but it kind of works."

"If you say so."

Balthazar stares at his hand. He'd put Peter's number in his phone on the way home, but he couldn't think of any reason in particular to text him. It's weird that his shower this morning hadn't washed the number off completely.

Rosa changes the subject to ask Fred about his photography, and Balthazar moves his hand from the table in order to focus. He can worry about potentially texting Peter later.

***

DECEMBER 8

By the time Balthazar goes to the next rehearsal, he feels like it’s been days. He’s running very late for a stupid reason, and he hopes Costa doesn’t notice and make a big deal about it.

He gets a text from Paige just as he’s walking in the door, asking if he’s on his way.

“Hey guys, sorry I’m late. I, um, wasn’t feeling very well.”

“Are you okay?” Peter asks, pushing up from his chair and approaching Balthazar.

“Yeah, feeling better now. I hope you guys weren’t waiting on me.”

“No worries,” Costa says. “We were just running through the elevator scene.”

“Elevator scene?” Balthazar asks, glancing up at Peter and then back to Costa.

“Costa had a burst of inspiration last night,” Peter says, his mouth twisted into an amused smile. In a low whisper, he continues, “I warned you,” before waving Balthazar in to sit next to him.

As it turns out, the new scene has Peter’s over-stressed character trapped in an elevator with Chelsey, who has finished her Christmas shopping early and keeps trying to get her family members on the phone. The two characters try to ignore each other for as long as possible until they finally have to break the silence.

“Balthazar, that’s where you come in,” Costa says.

“Me?”

“Yes, this will be the perfect opportunity for a rousing number to really breathe life into the second act, I think. It should be moving, but upbeat.”

He looks at Balthazar expectantly. “Oh, right now?” Balthazar says.

“Whenever you’re ready.”

“Okay, well. I’m not sure if I can come up with anything on the spot,” he says as he crosses the room for the ukulele he’d left here earlier.

He plays a few chords, humming a bit, but his mind is completely blank of any lyrics.

Suddenly, Paige jumps in with an idea. “I had a bad night, you had a good morning.”

Peter laughs. “I don’t mean to be rude, but your life sounds pretty boring.”

Balthazar changes the chord and contributes the next couple of lyrics, ending on a rhyme with “snoring”.

“Yes! Wow, great start guys, let’s workshop that a little, Balthazar, okay? And maybe by Thursday we can run through the whole scene together.”

“Sure,” Balthazar agrees, grateful he’s not being pushed to come up with the entire song right now.

Costa moves on with the rest of them to nail down a different scene, freeing up Balthazar to work on the song. He works until he’s pretty sure he’s got the melody worked out, but by then rehearsal is already winding down. He decides to take it home and work on it some more.

He’s glad things are wrapping up, though, because he’s starting to feel uneasy again. He steps away to the bathroom and half expects everyone to be gone by the time he gets back.

Instead, Peter is sitting there, right where he was when Balthazar first joined rehearsal today. He looks up when Balthazar comes back in, worry etched across his expression.

“You doing alright?” Peter asks.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Balthazar says, slightly embarrassed. “I did something stupid this morning and I’m still paying for it.”

“Should I ask what the something stupid was or mind my own business?”

Balthazar smiles ruefully. “My sister’s roommate made these… breakfast taco things? And she made some special without any beef that I assumed were okay for me to eat, but of course I took a giant bite of one and swallowed it before realizing there was bacon in the sauce.”

“Ooh,” Peter says grimacing. “I take it you’ve been vegetarian for a while?”

“Yeah, almost five years. My body and bacon don’t exactly get along anymore.”

“That sucks, man, I’m sorry.”

“I think at this point it’s gotta be mostly psychological,” Balthazar admits. “Like it shouldn’t be making me sick anymore, but I keep thinking about it.”

“We should probably change the subject, then,” Peter says, following him to what is quickly becoming his section of the studio. “How’s the song coming?”

“Slow but steady? I think I’ve got the music down, but I need to think more about the lyrics in the context of the rest of the play.”

“Cool. I’m sure whatever you come up with is going to sound amazing. Let me know if I can help at all.”

“Thanks, I will,” Balthazar says. “I should probably head home while I’m still feeling alright.”

“Don’t think about it!” Peter exclaims, following him out the door. “Think about… elephants! Flamingoes! Your superhero support group!”

“I thought that was your support group.”

“Ah, well they demanded new leadership when they heard your theme song.”

“Wow, I must’ve made quite an impression.”

“You really did,” Peter says, voice softening. “Sure you’re good to get home? I could walk with you.”

“I’ll be fine,” Balthazar says, “but thanks.”

***

DECEMBER 9

Balthazar spends far too much time on Wednesday writing and re-writing the lyrics to Costa’s new song. They’re not meeting up until later in the day since Paige and Chelsey can’t make it, but he wants to have something to share, even if it’s not finished.

By around 5, Balthazar’s ready to give up. He doesn’t know why he’s having so much trouble - he’s always been able to come up with songs in the past. But, he supposes, this is less his song and more the whole group’s.

With that in mind, he pulls out his phone to text Peter.

 **Balthazar**  
hey pete, it’s balthazar. I’ve been working on the new elevator song but everything I come up with sounds suspiciously like josh groban. any advice?  
**Peter**  
stop listening to your sister’s christmas music  
I’m actually off right now if you want to meet up?  
I promise I can offer better advice but it’ll work better in person  
**Balthazar**  
sure. how about coffee? do you know boyet’s?  
**Peter**  
oh yeah, that vegan place. I’ve passed by it a thousand times never been in  
what time?  
**Balthazar**  
5:30?  
**Peter**  
sweet. see you then

They decide to sit outside at Boyet’s, partially because it’s nice out, but mainly so that Balthazar can play his ukulele with minimal impact to others.

“I thought you had the melody down yesterday?” Peter asks.

“I did, but when I came up with the lyrics, the melody didn’t work anymore.” He hands over his notebook with the lyrics scribbled in. He feels suddenly self conscious as Peter reads through what he’s written, and hopes Peter doesn’t decide to start flipping to the front to read some of his earlier songs.

“Okay, this is probably going to sound crazy,” Peter says, putting the notebook down. “But I got this idea when you texted me earlier.”

“I can work with crazy.”

“When you texted me, you called it the ‘elevator song’ - and I just thought, what if you were like, playing elevator music in the background the whole time, and then it gets louder and we start singing along to it?”

Balthazar almost drops his pen. “That… is a great idea.”

“Yeah?” Peter says, pleased.

“Totally,” Balthazar says as he takes back his notebook and starts scribbling down ideas. “I could play it on my keyboard instead, and like, the key changes would have to be more subtle, but I think it would sound really cool.”

He does a search for elevator music on his phone to remind himself what it sounds like, then immediately starts taking notes. He looks up after he realizes quite a lot of time has passed, and Peter is still sitting there on his phone.

“Sorry, I’m being really rude,” Balthazar says.

“Nah, not at all, man. It’s kind of fascinating. I get to see your super power at work.”

“I think I’ve got a good start. I need my keyboard for the rest, though.”

“How long have you been doing the music thing?” Peter asks, pocketing his phone.

“My parents got me started playing piano when I was really young. After that, I just kept picking up new things.”

“That’s awesome. The only thing I’ve been good at since I was a kid is, like, football. And even that’s debatable.”

“It does not surprise me at all to hear that you’re good at football.”

“Really?”

“Nope. You probably still have a jacket from high school with your name on it.”

“Oh, well uh,” Peter coughs. “That’s not important. What makes you say that?”

“I dunno, you just seem like the ‘get along with everybody, captain of the football team’ guy.”

“Oh god,” Peter says, laughing while he buries his head in his hands. “I hate that you can tell that about me.”

“It’s not a bad thing,” Balthazar says.

“No, I s’pose not. There was just… this whole drama… thing… in Year 13, and I really didn’t deserve to be the ‘All ‘Round Great Guy’ anymore.”

“I don’t think it’s about deserving anything,” Balthazar says. “But if you look out for people, that’s what they remember about you.”

Peter looks at him like he gets it, and Balthazar feels a rush of feeling that’s been building ever since he first met Peter. He’s not sure what to do with it, though, so he looks back down at his notebook and says, “I should probably head toward the studio so I can get started on this before rehearsal tonight.”

“Good idea,” Peter says, gathering up their coffee cups to recycle them. “I’ll walk with you.”

***

DECEMBER 10

Balthazar wakes up the next morning to texts from Peter.

 **Peter**  
so my friend is having a christmas barbecue on saturday night  
you should come  
my weird flatmates will be there

Balthazar smiles at the invitation, his mind still waking up. He wants to say yes, but he has to express his skepticism about the food.

 **Balthazar**  
barbecues aren’t typically the best types of parties for vegetarians  
**Peter**  
nah, they’ll have plenty of other stuff that you can eat  
I promise  
I’ll go out and buy some hummus myself if I have to  
**Balthazar**  
it’s not a big deal. I can eat before the party  
**Peter**  
and let all this hummus go to waste? I expected better of you  
does that mean you’ll go?  
**Balthazar**  
yeah, sure, send me the details

***

DECEMBER 11

“Please tell me you don’t have plans for tomorrow night,” Balthazar says as soon as Kit answers his phone.

“I don’t have plans for tomorrow night,” Kit says obediently. “Why? What’s going on?”

Balthazar fills him in on the details of the party.

“And you want me to go to make sure no one tries to force feed you any meat?”

“I want you to go because of Peter.”

“Peter? As in Peter-from-the-bar Peter?”

“Peter-from-the-bar-and-also-the-Christmas-play,” Balthazar clarifies.

“He’s in your _Christmas play_? Wow, you’ve been holding out on me.”

“I didn’t think it was, like, going to be a thing.”

“And it’s a thing now?”

Balthazar pauses, thinking it over carefully. “I think it could be. I think this party will probably decide it. I just need someone to be there to help me make sense of things.”

“Then I’ll be there.”

***

DECEMBER 12

When they get to the barbecue, Balthazar is pleased to see Jaquie there as well. He always has an easier time at parties if he knows more people.

Peter greets him, drink in hand, and immediately pulls him into a hug.

“Hi, Peter,” Balthazar says, relaxing into the hug once he realizes what’s going on.

“I’m glad you could make it,” Peter says warmly, his free hand lingering at Balthazar’s shoulder as he steps back.

“Thanks for inviting me,” Balthazar says. He sees Peter’s gaze shift to his left. “Oh, and this is Kit. Kit, this is Peter.”

“Hey, man, good to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you,” Kit says, a blatant lie that Balthazar is nonetheless grateful for.

“Kit,” Peter repeats, expression gone serious, then goes to shake his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“I hope it’s okay I invited him,” Balthazar says, suddenly unsure.

Peter brightens again, though his smile doesn’t seem to reach his eyes. “The more the merrier! Come on over here, let’s scope out the vegetarian options.”

The vegetarian options, as it turns out, are pretty much the hummus that Peter promised and a couple of side dishes. Peter asks him a few times if it’s alright; clearly, Peter was expecting more.

“It’s fine,” Balthazar assures him, even though he’s sure the other side dishes aren’t vegan. He can’t really complain, since he hasn’t officially decided to go vegan yet, and there’s no way Peter could have known. He can always eat something when he gets home.

Peter introduces him around after that, and Balthazar quickly realizes he will never remember everyone’s names. As Peter gets called away, Balthazar decides to keep chatting with Ben and Freddie, Peter’s roommates. Kit instantly becomes their best friend, and while he gets deep in conversation with Freddie about the merits of coffee over tea, Balthazar asks Ben about what he’s studying at uni.

He doesn’t see Peter again for quite some time, but he gets to know Ben and Freddie, and catches up a bit with Jaquie. When the party hits a lull for him, he pulls out his ukulele and begins playing some Christmas music he knows by heart.

The next time he sees Peter up close, he’s got a drink in each hand and a too-wide smile on his face. Peter drapes himself over Jaquie’s shoulders and sings along to the end of “Deck the Halls”. Balthazar feels a pang of jealousy, even though Jaquie looks long suffering. This isn’t the first person he’s seen Peter draped across this evening.

He jumps right into “Sticky Beak the Kiwi” next, focusing on the music rather than the sadness that just ran through him. Everyone seems to be enjoying the music, some of them getting up and dancing, which is quite a nice feeling. But he’d had expectations for the night, and they didn’t involve Peter drunk and hanging on other people. Part of him wishes he could be that free with his affection, but perhaps an even bigger part of him wants Peter to direct that affection toward him. It’s hard to admit that, even to himself, but with the way he feels now, it’s undeniable.

There is a high point when he takes a break from playing specific songs and just strums for a while as he talks to the people around him. Suddenly, someone is improvising lyrics to the random tune he’s playing, and then Peter joins in with lyrics of his own. Soon, a round robin song is happening and Balthazar is right in the middle of it. He jots some notes down in the waning light after the song wraps up, wanting to be able to come back to it later.

Soon after it gets dark, Balthazar finds Kit and signals that they should go. He hates to pull Kit away, because he’s so obviously hit it off with Freddie, but Balthazar doesn’t think he can stand to be at this party any longer.

He and Kit walk in silence for the first half of the trip home. Finally, Kit speaks up. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”

“It’s okay,” Balthazar says, even though he’s not sure that’s true yet.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” Balthazar says honestly. “It was still a cool party.”

“Yeah,” Kit agrees. “Some good people.”

Balthazar waits a beat, then asks, “Did you get her number?”

Kit grins. “Already texted her.”

Balthazar knocks his shoulder into Kit’s, smiling. At least something good came out of this night.

***

DECEMBER 13

 **Peter**  
I didn’t see you leave last night  
sorry I missed you

Balthazar keeps his phone on silent for most of the day. He skips rehearsal - Costa will probably leave him a passive aggressive voicemail or two, but he needs a day off. He texts Paige to give her a heads up so no one will worry. They’ll do fine without him for a night.

***

DECEMBER 14

Balthazar is running late for rehearsal on Monday, and he just knows he’ll get grief about it after skipping the night before.

He’s already feeling anxious, and then he walks in to the sight of Peter kissing Costa.

Instinctively, he knows this is for the play, but there is far more passion in this kiss than anything they’d done in previous rehearsals. It feels like a punch in the gut.

As the door shuts behind him audibly, Peter’s eyes snap to his, and Peter pulls away from Costa abruptly. Balthazar, not trusting himself, immediately turns around to go get some air.

“Yes!” he hears Costa say before he can get out of earshot. “That’s _exactly_ what we’re going for.”

He pulls out his phone as soon as he’s outside, but then he hesitates. He doesn’t want to bother Kit with this, and Paige and Chelsey know Peter. Plus, they’re sitting inside right now. As he scrolls through his contacts, he realizes she’ll probably give him shit for it later, but he really wants to talk to his sister right now.

“Hey sis,” he says when she answers.

“Is everything alright?” she asks after a considerable lull.

“I just…” He kicks at the dirt up against the sidewalk, frustrated. “I guess I thought I liked somebody. But he doesn’t feel the same way about me, I guess.”

“Okay, well he’s obviously an idiot, first off.”

“He’s not an idiot,” Balthazar defends automatically.

She makes a noise of dissent. “He is if he turned you down.”

“He didn’t exactly turn me down. I never actually asked him out. He just… seems to be into other people. More emotionally available people.”

Rosa sighs heavily. “You’re going to make me say the cliche thing, aren’t you?”

Balthazar laughs even though it hurts his chest a bit. “What?”

“If he doesn’t like you for who you are, then fuck him. He’s not worth your time.”

“I don’t think that’s exactly the cliche.”

“You need somebody that will fight for you. The Jones family does not settle.”

“I know,” Balthazar sighs, “I know. It’s just… hard.” He gets crushes so infrequently, and it’s been so long since his last relationship. He barely knows Peter, but he likes him. Things would be so much easier if that weren’t the case.

Rosa makes a sympathetic noise. “You’re at your rehearsal, right? Do you want me to come pick you up?”

“No, it’s all the way across town. I’ll be alright. I just… needed to talk to someone, for a minute.”

“Okay, well, I’m here if you need me. We can make your weird vegan brownies tonight.”

Balthazar laughs. “That’ll be nice. Thanks, Rosa.”

Even after he hangs up, Balthazar takes a few minutes to just breathe. When he goes back inside, bracing himself for whatever he might see, he’s surprised to hear raised voices.

“—or I’ll walk,” Peter is demanding, voice firm.

“You can’t do that. I think you’ll find that you signed—”

“I don’t care what I signed! You know what, fine, just keep it in, and I’ll ruin the rest of the performance.”

Balthazar slips in, quietly, not wanting to provoke any further argument. He sees Peter glance his way quickly, but he looks away just as fast.

Costa has his arms crossed and, though he looks annoyed, he’s obviously thinking through whatever Peter’s ultimatum is.

“We can’t cut the kiss,” he finally says, though he sounds less confident than usual. “It’s the emotional pinnacle of the whole play.”

“So do something else instead!” Peter insists.

“What would you suggest?”

Balthazar, finally catching up with the conversation, holds up his ukulele. “You could use the song?”

“The song!” Peter exclaims, looking at Balthazar like he’s an angel.

“What song?” Costa asks.

“We improvised a song at a party last weekend,” Peter says. “I mean, lots of people chimed in, but… anyway, it was really cool. It’d be an awesome end to the play.”

Balthazar has to wonder what changed in the ten minutes he’d been outside to make Peter demand this change, but he doesn’t question it as he moves forward to play the song. He’s just glad he took some notes.

***

DECEMBER 15

 **Peter**  
I’m going to have that song stuck in my head for the rest of forever  
**Balthazar**  
you’re welcome  
**Peter**  
seriously though how are you so talented?  
**Balthazar**  
I must never reveal my secrets  
**Peter**  
it’s because you’re vegetarian isn’t it  
forget the lightning, that’s where you really get your super powers  
**Balthazar**  
oh no, he knows! better dispatch the memory erasing meat  
**Peter**  
no, it’s bacon! my one weakness!  
**Balthazar**  
it’s always the bacon that gets them in the end  
**Peter**  
tragic  
but delicious

“What do you keep smiling at?” Rosa asks, prompting Balthazar to put his phone away.

“Nothing, just texting with a friend.”

He avoids Rosa’s gaze, focusing on his lunch, but she still sees right through him. “A friend,” she repeats flatly. “The friend from the play.”

“He’s still my friend,” Balthazar says, “even if he isn’t interested in me.”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea. I don’t want you setting yourself up to get hurt.”

Balthazar eats quietly for a minute. Peter makes him happy, more often than not. And anything that may have hurt Balthazar wasn't Peter's fault. He shakes his head and says honestly, “I think it would hurt more to walk away.”

***

DECEMBER 16

With three days left until showtime, Costa is suddenly very serious about nailing down the finer details of the play. They have to run through every scene at least three times to make sure they’ve really got it down.

Which is unfortunate for Peter, who has to miss half of rehearsal to cover someone else’s shift at the bar.

“We can’t finish practicing without our _lead performer_ ,” Costa insists.

“I don’t see as how you have a choice,” Peter answers, already halfway out the door. “I’m not getting fired over this play.”

Costa crosses his arms. After a terse pause, he says, “Well, you at least need to get the notes before tomorrow’s rehearsals.”

“Great. Balthazar, do you mind stopping by to give me the notes tonight? I’m working until close.”

Balthazar blinks at him in surprise for a second. “Me?” He can see the urgency in Peter’s expression, which is the main reason he says, “Sure.”

Peter smiles in relief. “You’re the best. See you tonight!” he says as he runs out the door.

When Balthazar shows up at the bar, he’s not surprised to find it busy. He finds a seat at the far end of the bar and gets on his phone for a few minutes.

“I see you,” Peter yells over at him at one point. “I promise I’m not ignoring you.”

When he finally does come over, Balthazar can see him visibly relax. “Sorry,” he says, “this has been a particularly crazy night.”

“It’s fine,” Balthazar says, pulling out his notebook and flipping to his most recent page. “If you want I could just give you the notes from Costa.”

Peter takes the notebook and looks at it for a second, his eyebrows drawing together. “Um, no offense mate, but I think I’m gonna need you to translate for me.”

Balthazar laughs. “My handwriting is not that bad.”

“Sure, but not all of us have super powers,” Peter says with a teasing smile.

Another group of people walk up to the bar, looking Peter’s way expectantly. “Shit, I’ve gotta help these people. Do you mind hanging out? I’m not keeping you from anything, am I?”

“I can stay,” Balthazar says, shrugging.

“Brilliant,” Peter says. “Can I get you anything?”

“Nah, I’m good."

“Are you sure? It’s on the house.”

“Go do your job,” Balthazar says, throwing a coaster at him.

Another few minutes pass before Peter catches a break, but then he comes over and pulls up a chair on the other side of the bar.

“Okay, so hit me with the highlights,” Peter says. “Did Costa completely rearrange the storyline again?”

“It’s not too bad,” Balthazar says, “just three and a half new songs and full choreography to learn by tomorrow.”

Peter’s eyes widen comically for a few seconds before his expression shifts as he catches on that Balthazar’s joking. “Oh, ha ha, very funny. You know that’s still possible with Costa.”

“This is true,” Balthazar says. In actuality, Costa’s notes to pass on were pretty sparse, and Balthazar is able to cover them with only a couple of interruptions by Peter’s customers.

“Cool, I can handle that,” Peter says when they finish up with Balth’s notes. “I hope he didn’t dump much on you for song rework?”

“No more than usual,” Balthazar says, lifting one shoulder. He’s actually already got a few ideas written out just while sitting here.

“Do you regret being roped into this mess? Be honest.”

Balthazar looks back at him, making eye contact for a brief moment before glancing away again. “I actually love it,” he admits. “My summer break has been far more eventful than it would’ve been otherwise.” Far more enjoyable, he doesn’t say, though it has been.

“Cool, I’m glad,” Peter says softly, and Balthazar looks up again just in time to see him look away at an approaching group.

Peter scoffs. “Can’t these people see I’m busy?”

“Y’know, you’re never gonna earn any tips with that attitude.”

“There are some things better than tips,” Peter says enigmatically.

“Like death glares from your boss?”

“Like good company,” Peter corrects, already moving away. “Don’t worry about my boss. She’s harmless.”

“Thanks for coming out here tonight,” Peter says earnestly the next time he comes back. “I felt… kind of guilty, afterward, for putting you on the spot.”

“It’s no big deal,” Balthazar says.

“I really appreciate it.” Peter smiles as he settles back into his chair. “So, uh, you live with your sister, right? What’s that like?”

“A bit weird?” Balthazar says. “I mean, yeah, it’s really nice of her to let me stay, but it’s also a bit cramped. And most of the flatmates just don’t really talk to each other.”

“Hmm, yeah. My flatmates and I talk to each other, but it’s just… a bit too much, sometimes. Ben always wants to do these weird games and stuff.”

“Leap frog?” Balthazar asks cheekily.

Peter laughs. “Don’t give him any ideas. I dunno, I guess it can be fun sometimes. But you have to admit it’s not normal to have flat challenges.”

“Maybe not, but at least it’s not lonely.”

They talk for a long time about just about everything: Peter’s Year 13 drama, Balthazar’s attempts to get his music out there in the world, even their reluctant friendship with Costa. Balthazar knows it’s getting late, but even with the occasional interruptions when Peter has to step away and do his job, he doesn’t seriously consider going home.

“Anyway, so as I was saying, I’ll have to drive home for Christmas. My parents are putting their foot down, apparently, since I haven’t been home since January.”

Balthazar nods. “When do you leave?”

“Early on the 24th, I s’pose? I’m not too keen to be there longer than I have to be.”

“Do you… not get along with your family?” Balthazar asks tentatively. He doesn’t want to overstep.

“No, I do,” Peter says, shaking his head. “John and I are actually a lot closer after, y’know, everything. It’s just, my parents have acted weird ever since I came out as bisexual. Like, I dunno, they don’t have a problem with it, but it seems like they treat me differently.”

Balthazar focuses on taking a deep breath in and then back out without drawing attention to himself. “No, I know what you mean. My family was actually really cool about it when I told them I was gay, but um...”

He can feel Peter’s eyes on him as he hesitates, but he doesn’t dare look up. He just keeps turning the coaster around in his hands and focusing on that. There’s absolutely nothing that will have to change with Peter if he says this, he tells himself. Peter already shared his big-deal confession. He’ll understand Balthazar sharing his.

“I haven’t actually told my parents that I’m demi. My sister seems to get it, I guess, but I just have this feeling they won’t think it’s a real thing.”

The coaster has little diamonds on it that invert in a cool little pattern across the surface. He hadn’t noticed that before.

Peter makes a noise of sympathy. “Have you talked to your sister about telling them?”

“Not really. I think she’s giving me my space to decide. But she’d probably tell me to tell them.”

“It’s tough to decide,” Peter says. “For me, it felt like I couldn’t be myself at all when I was at home, not unless I told them. Now, they might be weird about it, but at least I’m not lying.”

“Mom likes to try to set me up with people, or like, get me on dating sites. I’m worried she’ll just think I’m trying to get her off my back, but… y’know, it’s not about her.”

“Yeah, I get it,” Peter says. Balthazar looks up from the coaster then, and meets Peter’s gaze. The look there speaks volumes; Peter really does get it, and Balthazar suddenly feels like a weight’s been lifted.

Of course, this is the moment Peter’s boss yells his name because she’s overwhelmed down the bar and needs help.

Peter curses softly. “I’ll be right back,” he says, reaching out and squeezing Balthazar’s hand briefly before stepping away.

Balthazar goes back to staring at the coaster. He feels raw and empty, but almost in a good way. Like he’s been reset. He had told Peter about his demisexuality, and the world hadn’t ended. Peter had listened to him. No matter what else happens now, Balthazar is grateful he hadn’t tried to walk away from Peter’s friendship. Peter’s only the fifth person he’s ever told, and that feels like it matters.

***

DECEMBER 17

“You look a bit like you’ve been run over,” Jaquie says to Balthazar when he gets to rehearsal the next day.

“Yeah, I was up late,” Balthazar says, glancing around but not seeing Peter, “and then my flatmates were up early.” He waves to Paige and Chelsey, who wave back, but continue in their own world.

“That sucks,” Jaquie says. “Hopefully you were up late for something good?”

“Yeah, pretty good night,” Balthazar says easily, looking up just as Peter comes into the studio. He’s not sure what his expression looks like, but Jaquie raises her eyebrows as Peter joins them.

“Hey guys,” Peter says, standing just close enough for their shoulders to touch. “Did we actually all beat Costa here?”

“It’s a Christmas miracle,” Jaquie quips.

“I had this awful dream last night that I’d forgotten all my lines. I just stood there like an idiot on stage while Costa whisper-screamed my lines at me.”

Balthazar laughs. “I’ve had that dream before. Maybe not with the whisper-screaming. But I dunno, I think Costa would probably love it. He’d just want you to improvise the whole thing.”

“Did I hear my name?” Costa says, appearing out of nowhere with a huge smile on his face.

Jaquie bites down on her lip, doing a bad job of trying not to laugh, and it almost makes Balthazar lose it too.

“We were just thinking about what sort of motivational speech you’d probably have for us this close to the night,” Peter says.

Costa immediately launches into a speech he had to have prepared in advance. Balthazar eyes Peter in order to say, ‘you asked for this.’ Peter looks completely unrepentant.

“And how many Christmases have you lived through without this sort of expression? Remember that. Carry that with you into your performance.”

And with that, he bows his head, leaving a long enough pause that Balthazar wonders if they should do anything. But then just like that, he bursts into a flurry of activity, calling for places and beginning their rehearsal.

Unlike yesterday, Costa calls for a pause in practically every scene. Balthazar can sense the frustration building in the rest of the cast, especially when Chelsey stomps her foot at yet another pause.

“You know,” he finally says, itching for things to calm down, “we haven’t really had a proper exercise in a long time. Maybe if we did some breathing, a little bit of improv?”

Peter is shooting him an incredulous look, Jaquie looks skeptical, Paige excited and Chelsey still annoyed at Costa. Costa, however, looks contemplative. “A good bout of improv might bring us back to our roots,” he says, beginning to nod. “You know what, clear the stage. Let’s start from scratch.”

This time, Peter shoots Balthazar a look that says ‘you asked for this.’ As Peter gets close enough to hear his whisper, though, Balthazar says, “You know these things are more for him than they are for us.”

“Whatever gets him to calm the fuck down,” Jaquie says.

“You don’t think he really means start from scratch, do you?” Chelsey asks.

Paige and Balthazar share a look. It wouldn’t be surprising.

As it turns out, ‘start from scratch’ means acting out their entire lives from birth through the awkward preteen years to the present. Mostly through animal noises, because that makes sense. At the end of it, everyone is laughing and Costa seems to feel better, which should hopefully make things better for the rest of them.

Sure enough, when they start back with the run-through, Costa interrupts them far less often.

“You’re absolutely brilliant,” Peter tells him at the end of the afternoon, bumping their shoulders together briefly. “How did you know that would work?”

Balthazar shrugs. “I didn’t. But I knew what we were doing wasn’t working.”

Peter gives him a long, appreciative look. “You never cease to amaze me, Balthazar Jones.”

“Oh, well, you’re easy to please,” Balthazar says, feeling himself blush.

Peter hums, not agreeing or disagreeing. They step outside into the sun, and Balthazar can’t quite stifle a yawn. Peter follows suit, laughing. “I think we both need some coffee.”

“Boyet’s?”

The line is ridiculously long when they get there, long enough that Balthazar probably wouldn’t choose to wait if he weren’t with Peter. The wait doesn’t seem so long, though, as they discuss their favorite musicians. Peter monologues about Sheep, Dog & Wolf long enough for them to get halfway through the line. Balthazar doesn’t have it in him to interrupt, plus he’s watched the music video for “Breathe” at least a dozen times himself.

At the counter, it turns out Peter knows the barista, who he addresses as Bea.

“Oh, Bea as in Beatrice?” Balthazar asks, remembering Peter’s story about last year’s drama.

Peter shoots him a look that tells him to leave it at that.

“Oh my god, is this Balthazar?” Bea says, suddenly excited. Peter’s look doesn’t change as it shifts to her.

“Yes, hi,” he says, waving. “Good to meet you.”

“You too. I would totally tell you every embarrassing story about Peter I know, but I guess we’re kinda busy, so. What can I get for you?”

Peter orders for both of them and threatens not to leave a tip, but Balthazar drops a bill into the jar before he can protest. “You can stay,” Bea tells him with a cheeky smile before she goes off to make their drinks.

“Bea seems nice,” Balthazar says as they head outside to find a table.

“If she tells you anything, it’s all lies,” Peter says.

She hadn’t told him anything, but she had pointed at Peter when his back was turned and given Balth a quick thumbs up. Balthazar is still smiling about it.

“Okay, there are zero empty tables available, and I’m not too keen on sitting with someone else. We could go for a walk?”

“Sure, it’s nice out,” Balthazar says, shrugging. They wind up at the waterfront, watching people milling about, doing their holiday shopping. At one point, a large man in a full Santa costume walks by, not seeming to have a particular destination, just wandering around. They laugh about it for at least five minutes.

When the caffeine from the coffee starts to wear off, Balthazar decides to head home. As they make their way toward the station, he says, “I’ve never fallen asleep on the train before, but I don’t want to take any chances by waiting until after dark.”

Peter laughs. “You’d be the most innocent train-sleeper though. People would probably leave you tips, thinking it was performance art.”

“I do have very artistic snores,” he says, which makes Peter laugh harder.

“Dress rehearsal tomorrow,” Peter reminds him as they approach the platform. “I’m not sure I’m ready.”

“You’re as ready as you’ll ever be with Costa,” Balthazar says.

“I’m afraid it’s going to be a disaster,” Peter says, laughing, but Balthazar can hear the seriousness in his tone.

“If it is, it won’t be your fault,” Balthazar says honestly. He remembers Peter’s comments about his dream and realizes he’s probably pretty anxious about the whole thing. “You’re gonna do great,” he assures him.

“I hope so,” Peter says with a sort of half-smile. Balthazar can hear his train approaching the platform, but he doesn’t make a move toward it just yet. He wants to be sure Peter is okay.

“You will,” Balthazar says simply. “Trust me, I know. It’s one of my super powers.”

Peter’s smile spreads and looks more genuine, then, and before Balthazar knows what’s happening, Peter pulls him into a hug. He laughs as Peter squeezes him tight and then quickly moves away. “Go on, you’re gonna miss your train,” Peter says.

He darts in just before the doors close, turning to wave goodbye. Peter is still smiling as he waves back, and his eyes follow Balthazar’s even as the train starts moving.

***

DECEMBER 18

Friday night is dress rehearsal, and for some reason, Balthazar is nervous. Not about the performance itself, because they’ve got that pretty well down. More about what’s going to happen. Costa was on edge enough as it was yesterday. Balthazar is worried that today will be even worse.

Of course, he should know better than to think Costa predictable, because it turns out he wants their dress rehearsal to be a full run-through of the entire play… backwards. Not just the last scene, then the scene before and so on. Even the songs start with the last verse.

It’s silly and ridiculous, and they mess up so much, but it’s one of the most fun rehearsals they have. In the end, Costa gives them another speech that actually includes the phrase “you know this play backwards and forwards,” and everyone is smiling.

All six of them go for a walk after rehearsal, people-watching and joking around before going their separate ways. There are hugs all around and murmurs of “good luck” that quickly change to “break a leg” after they’re chided by Costa.

“Your super senses still predicting good things?” Peter asks.

“‘Course,” Balthazar says, circling his arms around Peter’s neck as they come together for a hug. He’s very aware of his heart rate as Peter holds him close, far longer than any of the others had.

Peter’s smile is wistful when they finally pull away. “See you tomorrow.”

***

DECEMBER 19

The play is as absurd as Balthazar expected it to be, but it’s also hilarious, and even quite moving at times. Balthazar sits in the shadows with just enough light to play his instruments, and he finds himself caught up in the performance. The audience response is also even better than he would’ve anticipated. During the final scene with the Christmas song first developed at the barbecue, Costa runs over and pulls Balthazar on stage, ukulele and all, prompting him to sing along too. Balthazar goes with the flow and actually has a great time.

He’s surprised at the number of people he recognizes at the after party, which is basically just food and drinks set up in a different section of the community center they rented. All of his local friends are there, including Rosa and their flatmates, who she must have coerced in some way. Peter’s flatmates are there too, though Ben is notably attached at the hip with Beatrice this time. Balthazar says hello to them early on, but they seem to be mostly in their own world at the time.

Fred Boyet catches him eating a cheese danish by the snack table. “I’m still working my way up to being vegan,” Balthazar defends with a laugh.

“No need to explain yourself,” Fred says with a smile. “You did a great job tonight.”

“Yeah? Thanks. It was a lot of fun.”

“How many instruments do you play?” Fred asks as they move away to stop blocking the snack table.

Balthazar blows out a big breath as he does a mental tally. They find an empty half of a couch and sit down as Balthazar starts naming instruments. “Honestly, I try to pick up anything that looks interesting.”

“That’s cool. I play a little myself.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, I started out with guitar mostly—”

“Balthy-Balth!” comes a sudden exclamation, and Balthazar glances up to see Peter headed his way. Without warning, Peter slides into the space between him and Fred, his arm going around Balthazar’s shoulders automatically.

“Hi Peter,” Balthazar says with a laugh, leaning into Peter a bit almost without thought. “You’re being really rude, you know. You just interrupted Fred mid-sentence.”

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry,” Peter says, turning toward Fred. He sets his drink down and offers his hand. “I’m Peter.”

“Fred Boyet. Nice to meet you. You did a great job tonight.”

“Thanks,” Peter says amicably.

“What’s that you’ve got?” Balthazar asks as Peter picks his drink up again.

“Root beer,” Peter says, showing him the label on the bottle. “It’s pretty good. Not sure if it’s vegan though.”

“Ah, well, I’m not doing too well on that front tonight,” Balthazar says, sharing an amused look with Fred. As Fred laughs, he explains to Peter in a low voice, “I had a cheese danish like, five minutes ago.”

“It’s like you’re not even trying,” Peter teases. He holds up his bottle. “Do you want some?”

“Yeah, alright,” Balthazar says, accepting the bottle. As he’s taking a sip, Fred stands up from the couch and adjusts his blazer.

“Oh, hey, you don’t have to go,” Peter says. “I didn’t mean to like, interrupt.”

“Nah, it’s cool. I’m actually gonna look for something to drink myself. Nice to meet you, Peter. Good to see you again, Balthazar.”

“Cheers,” Balthazar says, handing the drink back to Peter as Fred walks away.

“He looks so familiar,” Peter says, eyebrows scrunched together.

“Maybe you’ve seen him around. His family, like, owns Boyet’s.”

“Really?” Peter says, eyebrows shooting up. “That’s not it, though. I dunno. It’ll come to me.”  
Balthazar knocks his knee up against Peter’s. “So my super powers were right. You did a great job tonight.”

Peter ducks his head. “I messed up in the elevator song, though.”

“Nah, not in a way that anybody would’ve noticed.”

“Thanks,” Peter says. “You were brilliant, but that’s not at all surprising.”

Balthazar smiles. “You’re too kind.”

Peter licks his lips, looking contemplative for a moment. “So look, now that the play is over…”

He trails off, and Balthazar nearly prompts him to go on, but then he follows Peter’s distracted line of sight to see Costa standing in front of them both with a comically large smile on his face.

“My two favorite male cast mates,” Costa says, spreading his arms out to indicate them.

“We’re your only male cast mates,” Peter points out.

“Come, come, we’re going to get a group picture,” Costa says.

“Hold that thought,” Peter murmurs as he lifts up from the couch. Balthazar follows after him and smiles awkwardly for a series of photos. After that, it turns out Costa wants some of just Peter and Jaquie, so he wanders off to find a drink.

He runs into Kit by the cooler and gives him a quick hug. He accepts the congratulations that Kit gives and asks how his night is going.

“Not bad at all,” Kit says. “Good friends. Good drinks.” He holds up the beer he’s just acquired as evidence.

“That’s good,” he says, reaching for a root beer. Peter’s got him craving one now.

“You and Peter seem to be getting on better.”

“Yeah,” Balthazar says, eyes searching to make sure no one’s listening in. “Things have been easier, now that I know we’re, y’know, friends.”

“Friends are a good thing to have,” Kit agrees. Balthazar follows him over to the far corner of the room, reintroducing himself to Freddie, Ben and Bea.

“Balthazar! My new favorite human,” Bea announces. “Come sit by me.”

“Hey,” Ben says, mock offended, as she nudges him further down the couch to make room for Balthazar. “I thought I was your favorite human.”

She hums, contemplative, and then makes an ‘eh’ face. Balthazar laughs and joins them on the couch.

His arrival had apparently interrupted a debate about ninjas versus pirates, which they dive back into full force.

“Balthazar, you seem like you’d be reasonable about this. Who do you think would win in a fight?” Ben asks.

“Mm, I think Kit’s got a point about ninjas being stealthy…” he says, Ben already groaning before he finishes his sentence. Balthazar is still laughing as a new girl bounces up next to him briefly, then moves directly into Beatrice’s lap.

Bea makes a big show as if the girl is very heavy, earning her a prompt glare. “So this is Meg,” Beatrice says around Meg’s shoulder.

“Oh, you don’t have to tell me,” Meg says before he can say hello. “You’re the infamous Balthazar.”

“Infamous?” Balthazar asks. He stands up to offer her the spot on the couch.

“Oh my god, you don’t have to get up,” she says, but when he insists and sits down on the loveseat off to the side, she slides over into his old spot.

“So, how am I infamous?” he asks, scrubbing a hand through his hair.

“Oh, Peter’s been talking about you for weeks,” Meg says. “For a little while we suspected he was making you up.”

“Maybe he was,” Balthazar says, raising his eyebrows. He feels a little thrill at the thought of Peter talking about him outside of the play.

“So Meg, who would win in a fight?” Ben asks. “Ninjas,” he says, leaning straight back against the back of the couch and looking bored, “or pirates,” he says, making a hook with his hand and brandishing it while holding his mouth open.

“What are you even doing? What is your mouth doing?” Beatrice says.

“It’s, like, y’know, a gold tooth or something.”

“Oh my god.”

Meg doesn’t have a strong opinion either way, but she does shift the hypothetical fight to unicorns versus dragons.

It’s while Ben is doing a weird demonstration using his hand as a horn that Peter joins them.

“Do I want to know?” he asks. He squeezes onto the loveseat next to Balthazar, and just like last time, his arm goes around Balthazar like it naturally belongs there. “Whatever they said about me, it was all lies.”

“Who said we talked about you?” Bea says.

“Yeah,” Ben agrees. “Arrogant.”

“So you didn’t singlehandedly save five cats from a tree?” Balthazar asks.  
Peter waits a beat. “Okay, that one’s true.” Everyone laughs, and Balthazar settles more comfortably into his seat.

Balthazar finds himself enjoying the party, the first one he’s really had fun at in a long time. Peter’s friends are incredibly cool, and as the night goes on, Balthazar even starts to think of them as his friends.

When he checks the time and sees how late it is, he worries briefly about catching the train. Maybe he should’ve left with his sister. “I should go,” he says, smiling a bit when everyone makes sad noises over it. “Sorry, I turn into a pumpkin at midnight. Or actually my train does.”

“I’ll walk you out,” Peter says, standing up with him.

“Sure. Good to see you all again,” Balthazar says, waving.

Once outside, Peter stuffs his hands into his pockets. “I know you need to go catch the train, but I just wanted… I mean, now that the play’s over, we won’t be seeing each other every day.”

“True,” Balthazar says. He’d been trying not to think about that.

“And I guess I just, uh, I wanted to keep hanging out.” Peter swipes a hand through his hair. “I mean, I’d like to keep seeing you.”

“Yeah, I’d um, I’d like that too,” Balthazar says, licking his lips. “Give me a call. We can hang out.” He’s not sure if it’s anxiety over having to catch the train or something else making his heart beat faster.

“Good,” Peter says, a relieved smile breaking out over his face. He pulls Balthazar into a bear hug that is over far too quickly. “D’you want me to walk with you to the train?”

“Nah, I’m good. Go enjoy the rest of the party,” he says, already backing away. He really doesn’t want to have to call a cab. “Talk to you tomorrow?”

“Already looking forward to it,” Peter yells after him.

***

DECEMBER 20

When Balthazar wakes up the next morning, he reads back over his last texts with Peter from the night before.

 **Peter**  
did you make it on the train?  
if not you should come back, we can go in on a cab together  
**Balthazar**  
made it by one minute  
first time being happy about train delays  
**Peter**  
I’m glad I didn’t make you miss it  
sleep well  talk to you in the morning

Smiling, he texts him before getting out of bed.

 **Balthazar**  
taking bets on how late you'll sleep today

He's actually awake well before his flatmates, so he uses the opportunity to make a decent breakfast, vegan pancakes included. Rosa is the first one awake, and she eyes him skeptically for a moment before filling up a plate.

"How is it that you were the last one to get in and also the first one awake with breakfast?"

"I guess I'm just better at life that everyone else."

"You're in a good mood," she says disparagingly. "Hang on, did he ask you out?"

"What?" Balthazar says by default. How did she know about his conversation with Peter? _Had_ Peter been asking him out?

"Fred Boyet. He really likes you. I was sure he was going to ask you out."

"I barely know Fred," Balthazar says with some embarrassment, remembering how he'd practically ignored Fred once Peter had shown up.

"Yeah, but you guys have the whole vegan thing in common. Plus, he's really cute."

"I s'pose, yeah," Balthazar says noncommittally. His phone buzzes in his pocket, but he doesn't check it immediately.

Rosa fixes him with a long, searching look. “Of course, he’s no Peter,” she says, doing a wavy thing with her hand when she says Peter’s name.

“Who?” Balthazar says, fighting against a smile. His phone buzzes twice more in his pocket in quick succession.

“Oh my god, check it already,” Rosa says, going back to her breakfast. “He’d better not break your heart, or I’ll break his face.”

“I know you don’t mean that literally, so I won’t say that that wouldn’t solve anything,” he says with a smirk. He fishes his phone out of his pocket and says, “Thanks, Rosa.”

 **Peter**  
I woke up while the time was still in single digits, thank you  
oh god, the internet says there are 5 days til christmas  
I haven't bought a single present

Balthazar notes that the first text was sent at 9:58 AM.

 **Balthazar**  
that’s five complete shopping days left  
**Peter**  
only 4 if you consider all the good stuff’s closed today

Balthazar starts to type a response to that, but Peter calls him immediately.

“I’m gonna—” Balthazar says, holding up his phone and waving behind him. Rosa waves him off dismissively.

“Hey,” he says once he’s safely in his room.

“Hi,” Peter says brightly. “I’m not… keeping you from something, am I?”

“Nah, I’m good. Just finished up breakfast with my sister.”

“Oh, yeah. How is she?”

“Not a morning person,” he answers, laughing when Peter laughs.

“So apparently it’s Christmas now.”

“Says the star of the Christmas play,” Balthazar says.

“I know! It’s not like it snuck up on me. But… it kind of did. The obligation part did, anyway.”

“I’m actually not done with my shopping yet either,” Balthazar admits. He could be, because he’ll be mailing most of his family’s gifts, and there won’t be a set time those need to arrive. But he might as well get it all done, plus he’d like to get something for Peter.

“What are you doing tomorrow? Wanna brave the shops with me?”

“Sure,” Balthazar says, grinning. “Where did you have in mind?”

“I thought maybe the shops by the bar? I saw something in the window of that comic shop for Ben.”

“There’s a pretty decent record store around there too,” Balthazar remembers.

"Cool," Peter says.

They chat for a while, with starts and stops while Peter gets some food, Balthazar checks his email, or they otherwise get distracted. Eventually Balthazar puts Peter on speaker so that he can try out some chords for a song he's working on.

When Peter asks about the song, Balthazar finds it hard to explain. "I'm not sure what it will be yet," he says. "I jot down chords and lyrics when I think of them, but sometimes they form into songs in ways I don't expect." He doesn't mention that at least half of his lyrics from the last few weeks were directly inspired by Peter, whether positive or negative.

Somewhere around the two and a half hour mark on their phone call, Peter sighs. "Freddie is calling me to lunch."

"That's cool that you guys always eat together," Balthazar says. "I usually have to make my own meals."

"Lest there be more bacon tacos."

"Don't remind me," Balthazar says, laughing.

"I'll text you later," Peter promises.

"Already looking forward to it," Balthazar says, echoing Peter from the night before. His cheeks are burning, but he's sure he can hear the smile in Peter's voice as he says goodbye.

***

DECEMBER 21

Balthazar's stomach does a little swoop when he meets up with Peter the next morning and he's holding two cups of coffee from Boyet's.

"You'll need caffeine to deal with the crowds," Peter says, offering one of the cups.

"Thanks. This wasn't on your way," Balthazar points out. 

Peter shrugs. "I left early."

Balthazar hides his smile behind his cup as he takes a sip. It’s still warm and perfectly sweet, just the way Balthazar likes it.

“So where to first?” Balthazar asks, letting Peter lead the way.

As they get started, they realize the shops really aren’t all that busy, though Balthazar quickly gets a sense of impatience exuding from everyone he interacts with. When he points this out to Peter between shops, Peter agrees.

“I think everyone starts to panic as the holiday gets closer and none of us are ready for it,” Peter says.

“Yeah, but you don’t have to be ready for it. It’s a day. It just comes.”

“Exactly.” Peter sighs. “There’s just so many expectations. Like, if I don’t show up at my parents’ house on Christmas Eve in an ugly Christmas jumper, I will probably get disowned.”

Balthazar can’t relate. His family has never been one to do much for Christmas. If they’re together, they’ll have a special meal and exchange gifts, but it’s never been a major event. “Sounds like they really only care about you being there, though. The gifts maybe don’t matter all that much?”

“No, probably not. I just feel like, this is my first year away and with a job, and wouldn’t it be cool if I showed up with the perfect gift?”

“Well, the day is young,” Balthazar says, and they head off to the next shop.

“Ugh, I am so _bad_ at this,” Peter says about thirty minutes later when they leave yet another store empty handed.

“You’re overthinking it,” Balthazar says. “Okay, who do you have left on your list?”

“Everyone but Ben? Well, okay, at a minimum I have to get something for Mum, Dad, and John. But I want to get stuff for my friends, too. I just, I dunno, keep blanking on everything everyone might want.”

“That’s alright. Let’s take them one at a time. What kind of stuff do you usually get for your mum?”

Peter laughs. “Candles?” He runs a hand through his hair and stares off into the distance for a minute. “Maybe I can get her something that says, ‘I love you, but please stop asking about my love life.’”

“I think that’s pretty common to most mothers,” Balthazar points out with a small smile.

“I know she means well,” Peter says quietly and sincerely. “It’s just… hard. With her and Dad, I never feel like I’m measuring up. And my gifts are _always_ shit.”

“That sets the bar pretty low, then,” Balthazar says, trying to lighten the mood. He reaches out and rubs Peter’s back between his shoulder blades. “C’mon, I’ve got an idea.”

Balthazar leads Peter down a couple of side streets to a kitschy shop he found one day when he was wandering. They have all sorts of semi-personalized things, but he leads Peter to the section of gifts based on birth year.

“It’s kind of a sentimental gift,” Balthazar says, trying to gauge Peter’s reaction as he flips through the years.

Finally, he stops on one and reads through the headlines and other notes on it. “Oh my god, this is perfect,” he says.

“Yeah?”

“It’s got their song on it and everything. Wow. How did you know about this?”

Balthazar shrugs. “I look out for unique things and places. It’s kind of silly, but I really liked the vibe of this store.”

“It’s brilliant,” Peter says. They look around the store for a while longer, and Peter winds up leaving with three more gifts.

They grab lunch after that, and Peter’s mood is vastly improved. With the urgency gone, the rest of their shopping trip is laid back and fun. Balthazar doesn’t find anything for Peter, but he doubts he’d get away with buying anything with Peter never more than a few steps away.

“Thanks for inviting me out with you,” Balthazar says at the end of the day. “I guess I learned the real meaning of Christmas is frantic gift shopping in the final days before.”

“Better with company,” Peter says with a small smile.

There’s a short pause as Balthazar just smiles back, but then he realizes he should probably do or say something. He holds his arms out to give Peter a hug, and Peter moves into his space easily. Balthazar can smell the orangey lotion he’d tried on in one of the shops.

“Seriously, I’m glad you could join me,” Peter says before taking a step back, though he doesn’t move completely away. “Can I see you tomorrow?”

Peter still has one hand at Balthazar's side, and he looks so expectant. Balthazar is sure, nearly sure, almost sure that this is a thing. A more than friends thing. But he can't find the words to ask, so he just says, “Yeah,” and smiles when Peter smiles.

***

DECEMBER 22

On Tuesday, Balthazar meets up with Peter for coffee after lunch. It’s starting to feel like a regular occurrence.

When Balthazar gets to Boyet’s, he takes a moment to look for Peter, wondering if he beat him somewhere for once. But then he spots him off to the side of the shop, typing on his cell phone with a focused expression.

He goes and stands next to him, not wanting to interrupt. Peter glances up at him after a moment and then does a rather comical double-take as he realizes Balthazar’s standing there.

“Hi,” Balthazar says, fighting a laugh.

“I didn’t see you come in,” Peter says, putting his cell phone away with a guilty look that makes Balthazar wonder what he was texting about. He pulls Balthazar into a quick side-hug as he asks, “How are you?”

“Not bad,” Balthazar says, moving easily into Peter’s space. “Ready for some caffeine. You?”

“Good. Happy to be here.”

“Here, specifically, or…?” Balthazar asks with a teasing lilt as they get in line.

“Here. Out of the flat. With you. All of those, really.” Balthazar fights a grin as he studies the menu, though he’s sure he’ll get the same thing he always gets.

They lapse into a comfortable silence for a minute, up until Peter makes a noise like he’s remembered something. “Have you heard the new Sheep, Dog & Wolf yet?”

Balthazar raises his eyebrows. “There’s new Sheep, Dog & Wolf?”

“Just posted this morning,” Peter says. “I’ll play it for you after we sit down.”

“Cool. I assume it’s good?”

Peter scoffs. “Of course it’s good.”

Balthazar gets the drinks this time, since Peter is always buying and he wants to repay the favor. They go outside to look for a table, but everywhere is full, so they head back inside.

It’s louder there, so they decide to wait on the new music, but Peter describes in detail the kind of sound the new song has. Balthazar is pretty sure he prefers hearing Peter’s enthusiastic descriptions to hearing the actual song.

He keeps hearing an occasional text chime, different from his own but familiar. For a while he assumes it’s coming from the table behind Peter, but then those people leave and he hears it again. “Is that you?” he asks Peter.

Peter waves a hand dismissively. “It’s just Ben,” he says, and his phone promptly chimes again. “Sorry, I’ll put it on silent.”

When he pulls his phone out of his pocket, though, it starts ringing. Balthazar laughs at Peter’s frustrated expression. “Go ahead and answer it. See what he wants.”

“I know what he wants, and _the answer is no_ ,” Peter says, directing the last half of his sentence into the phone as he obligingly answers the call.

Balthazar can’t hear what Ben’s saying, but he can hear the pleading tone.

“We already talked about this,” Peter says. He meets Balthazar’s gaze and rolls his eyes. Balthazar wonders what Ben’s asking of him. When Peter speaks again, it’s through gritted teeth. “I’m out with Balthazar right now. Just go on without me.”

This time, Balthazar can hear Ben as he loudly exclaims, “So bring him with you!”

Peter’s quiet for a long moment. His expression is still frustrated until he heaves a sigh. Pulling the phone down, he asks Balthazar, “Do you want to come over to the flat and participate in a holiday flat challenge?”

Balthazar laughs, because Peter delivers the question while shaking his head the whole time. “Sounds fun,” he says, laughing harder when Ben starts to celebrate across the line.

“You really don’t have to say yes,” Peter says, reaching out to place a hand on Balthazar’s arm.

“I don’t mind. Unless you don’t want me to go,” Balthazar says.

“I don’t want either of us to have to go, but Ben’s being a _pain in the arse_ ,” he says, directing the last part into the phone again. Ben starts arguing back immediately, but Peter sets the phone down on the table. “Seriously, we don’t have to change our plans if you don’t want to.”

“It sounds like fun,” Balthazar says honestly. “We’ve already got our coffee, and I mean, it’d be cool to see the flat.”

“That’s true,” Peter says, brightening suddenly. Before he lets Ben know the good news, he tells Balthazar, “Just remember, this was your decision.”

On the train, Peter leans in close to share one of his earbuds so they can listen to the new Sheep, Dog & Wolf song. It’s very good, though Balthazar thinks he probably needs to listen to it again when he doesn’t have Peter so close by, clouding up his senses. They talk about song and other new music until they get to Peter’s stop.

“So why the sudden urgency?” Balthazar asks about the flat challenge as they make their way toward Peter’s flat.

“Everyone else is heading home to Auckland tomorrow after lunch. Ben was insistent we needed one last challenge before we all leave.”

Balthazar nods. “Any clue what we’re in for?”

“No idea. All he would say was that it was holiday-related.” 

They walk in to find Ben pushing a couch back against the wall. Balthazar glances around what seems to be the living room, appreciating the artwork. There’s a camera set up on a tripod in the front of the room. Bea, Meg, and Freddie are huddled together on the other couch, observing Ben’s setup process. There’s a huge pile of Christmas wrapping supplies in the middle of the room.

“Perfect timing!” Ben proclaims as he spots them. “Come in, come in.”

“Hi, Balth!” Meg says with a sweet smile. Freddie smiles and waves, though she looks a bit wary and keeps placing over at the tripod.

“He roped you into this too?” Bea asks, shooting a disapproving look at Ben.

“I don’t mind,” Balthazar says.

“Quick tour before the frivolity starts,” Peter decides, placing a hand on Balthazar’s back to guide him. He points out the different bedrooms, the bathroom, and then the kitchen, which he leads Balthazar to. They step out onto the porch off the kitchen and Peter says, “Still a chance to sneak away if we want it.”

Balthazar laughs. “Why are you so against this game?”

“Oh, nah, I mean, I’m not—it’s not that,” Peter splutters. He runs a hand through his hair. “I’m just about 99.9% sure they’re going to purposely embarrass me in there.”

“They’re your friends, though. They’re only doing in out of love. Besides, I doubt they’re going to reveal anything more embarrassing than what you’ve already told me.”

“I never should’ve told you about the mullet,” Peter says.

“And when you meet my sister, I’m sure we’ll be even.”

Peter smiles at that, like Balthazar said something special instead of just a random assurance. “Yeah, alright. Let’s go back in.”

Ben is checking the frame on his camera when they get back inside. “Okay, first things first. Balthazar! Do you mind this video of you going up for the internet at large to see?” Ben asks, gesturing at the camera.

“Oh, uh, no, that’s fine.” He waves at the camera. “Hi, internet at large.”

“Oh god, you’re so adorable our viewership is going to double,” Ben says wistfully. Peter reprimands him with a sharp, “Hey!” and a shake of his head.

“Anyway, so the rules are these!” Ben announces, moving on. He gestures at the pile of Christmas wrapping paper and supplies and explains, “Each team will get two rolls of wrapping paper, a handful of bows, some tinsel and other baubles, and all the tape you could possibly need. We were gonna have two teams and a judge, but with Balthazar here that makes the teams even!”

“How are we gonna know who wins, then?” Freddie asks.

“Oh. We’ll know,” Ben responds with a solemn look. “Each team will pick one person to wrap up like a beautiful present. You have ten minutes exactly to make the best looking gift (if I do say so myself). I’ve put all of our names into this hat box. Who would like to draw a name for Team A?”

They go through one at a time until the teams are divided. Balthazar is with Peter and Freddie, and they’re playing against Ben, Bea, and Meg.

“I’ll be the wrapping victim,” Peter volunteers immediately after Ben says go.

“Fine with me,” Freddie says.

“Sure. We’ll make you look extra pretty,” Balthazar says, laughing at the uncertain look Peter sends his way.

“Thank you?” Peter says.

Freddie pulls them into a mini huddle. “Alright guys, let’s talk strategy. Peter, you’ll be the present. That means you have to stand still one we get things going. Can you handle that?” Peter salutes. “Good. Balthazar, how are your wrapping skills?”

“Wrapping with a w?” Balthazar makes a noise of uncertainty. “Slightly less impressive than my rapping skills without a w.” Peter snickers as Balthazar continues, “Which is to say, I do okay, I guess. But my bow-making skills are fairly impressive.”

“Great,” Freddie says. “Let’s get everything set up first. Balthazar, you make some bows, and I’ll start cutting out the paper.”

“I’ll stand here and look pretty,” Peter says, striking a pose.

“Good work,” Balthazar says with a laugh as he gathers up the ribbon.

“No seriously, what can I do? You’re not wrapping me yet.”

“Maybe figure out how to use this other stuff? I don’t even know where Ben got all this.”

“Thrift store!” Ben calls from across the room. His team is already wrapping him up directly from the roll.

“This better not have come from the flat budget,” Freddie says.

“Focus, Freddie, focus!” Peter says, trying not-so-successfully to fashion a bunch of ornaments into something he can wear.

They wind up taping Freddie’s wrapping paper and tying Balthazar’s bows around Peter’s wrists, knees, and two taped onto his shoulders. The ornaments hook into the ribbon wherever they can make it work. With ten seconds left, Balthazar tears open the box of tinsel and throws a handful over Peter’s head.

“Stop laughing!” Balthazar reprimands through his own laughter. “You’ll mess it up!”

The non-wrapped contestants take a step back to observe the results. Both Ben and Peter look absurd and majestic. Ben is wrapped up loosely, his arms trapped down by both paper and ribbons.

“He kept messing up our work by trying to interfere, so we put a stop to that,” Bea says.

“I was helping!” Ben argues. He jerks his arms a bit when he says it, which causes some of the paper to tear and immediately fall off.

“Seriously Ben?” Meg says.

Bea buries her head in her hands. “Well, you were right about not needing a judge.”

“To be fair,” Balthazar says, “I think your one would’ve done a better job of concealing what the gift is. Which is kind of the point of gift wrapping.” The others laugh.

“It is a bit like wrapping up a bicycle,” Peter says, looking down at Freddie’s very precise wrapping job.

“The tinsel really makes it,” Meg says, observing Peter.

“Okay, who wants to unwrap me?” Ben asks, shooting an excited look at Bea.

She just looks unimpressed. “Unwrap yourself. You seem to be good at it.”

Peter shakes his head back and forth dramatically, causing the tinsel to flutter down to the floor around him. One strand seems to have wrapped itself up in his hair, and it dangles down into his eyes despite his best efforts.

“Need some help?” Balthazar asks, laughing. He reaches up to pull the strand loose, suddenly realizing how close he’s standing.

“Thanks,” Peter says softly, eyes bright. Blushing, Balthazar takes a step back.

They get Peter’s hands free next, and he quickly shucks off the wrapping paper. He leaves one of the bows on his wrist, though.

As they survey the carnage, Peter points out that it’s Ben’s turn to clean up. “I cleaned up after the whipped cream challenge,” Peter reminds him.

“I really have to watch these videos,” Balthazar says with a raise of his eyebrows, earning him a shoulder punch from Peter.

“C’mon, someone can at least help me,” Ben says. “I did put this challenge together entirely by myself.”

“Oh, would you look at that, I _really_ need to run to the store,” Meg says.

“Right. And I was supposed to go with you! To help you carry everything.”

“Guys,” Ben whines.

“Quick,” Peter murmurs, leaning close to Balthazar, “while he’s distracted.” He leads Balthazar to his room and shuts the door before Ben can shift focus.

Peter’s room is smaller than Balthazar expected. He takes a seat on Peter’s desk chair, trying not to think about how he’s alone with Peter in his bedroom. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“It was fun,” Peter admits, fidgeting with the bow on his wrist. “I’m glad you could join us.”

“Me too,” Balthazar says. They fade into silence as Balthazar wonders if he should make his excuses and head home.

“Why don’t we watch a movie?” Peter suggests suddenly.

Balthazar feels unexpectedly relieved. “Sure. What movie?”

“Let’s see what our options are,” Peter says, pulling his laptop onto the bed and patting the space next to him.

They ultimately decide on _Elf_ , putting the laptop on the end of Peter’s bed. Balthazar sits cross-legged on the bed, his shoulder warm where it's pressed against Peter's. They occasionally talk over the movie, but Balthazar hardly minds. 

“I had other plans for us for today, but this was good too,” Peter says later as the credits run.

“Other plans?” Balthazar asks, curious.

“Yeah, I mean, nothing too set or anything. I just thought we’d go walk by the waterfront. That’s always nice.”

Balthazar shrugs, leaning back against the headboard and stretching his legs out now that the movie’s done. “We can always do that next time.”

“I know, I just—” Peter cuts himself off. He looks conflicted. “I had this… Nevermind.”

“What is it?” Balthazar asks, concerned.

Peter looks at him for a long moment, long enough to make Balthazar blush and look away. When he speaks, his voice is soft. “I don't wanna, um... be too forward. So please, stop me if I start to sound like an idiot.” Balthazar’s heart trips over its next beat, and he almost makes a joke about Peter already sounding like an idiot to deflect, but he stays silent. "But I really like you. And if you want, I’d like to keep hanging out, like, in a dating capacity."

At first, Balthazar feels a rush in his ears. He’s not entirely confident he didn’t mishear Peter. ‘I really like you,’ he’d said. And there’s no way he’s misreading the solemn, hopeful look on Peter’s face. A smile spreads across Balthazar’s face as he responds, “I really like you, too. I’d love to hang out with you in a dating capacity.”

“Yeah? Good,” Peter says, ducking his head.

Balthazar just looks at him for a second, because he can’t stop smiling and neither, it seems, can Peter. He feels so much for Peter already, and it kind of scares him. It’s hard to believe he hasn’t even known Peter a month. With that in mind, he takes Peter’s hand and says, “Is it okay if we go slow?”

“‘Course,” Peter says earnestly, squeezing Balthazar’s hand. “I’m just glad I haven’t scared you away yet.”

“I wasn’t sure… how you really felt,” Balthazar says. There’s more to it than that, but he thinks Peter gets it.

“I wasn’t either,” Peter responds. “First I thought Kit was your boyfriend, and then I was sure I’d ruined my chances.”

“Sorry,” Balthazar says. “I don’t always express myself very well.”

“No need to apologize,” Peter says. “I had to work through some of my own stuff, and... I was kind of an idiot about the whole thing too.”

They’re both quiet for several moments, and then Balthazar has to laugh. “It feels like it’s taken us a lot longer than a few weeks to get here.”

“It totally does,” Peter agrees, laughing with him. “Maybe because it’s so easy to talk to you.”

Balthazar knows what Peter means. He’s never found it particularly easy opening up to new people, but with Peter he doesn’t even have to think about it. They just click.

Peter gets a text, then, that turns out to be from his brother confirming holiday plans. He and Balthazar talk for a while about Donaldson family traditions while Peter texts back occasionally.

“I should probably head home,” Balthazar says when it’s getting close to dinner time. “I still haven’t wrapped any of those presents.”

“Mm, good point. I need to do that,” Peter says. “Can I walk you to the train?”

Balthazar takes in Peter's shy, tentative smile and realizes he really does care exactly what pace Balthazar wants this relationship to go. He feels a rush of affection and this time, he doesn’t push it down. He leans in toward Peter, using the hand that isn’t holding Peter’s to cup the side of his face as he brings their lips together.

Peter hums happily and kisses back gently. Balthazar almost throws caution to the wind with the sudden want that he feels, but he manages to pull away. They’ve got plenty of time for that.

“Yeah, let’s go for a walk.”

***

DECEMBER 23

The next day, Balthazar wakes up to a string of texts from Peter.

 **Peter**  
good morning   
I had a dream that costa was putting together a last minute santa parade  
and needed us both to be santa  
and also a whole soundtrack of songs  
at least I hope it was a dream  
I really hope you don’t have your phone on  
if so I’m sorry for waking you up with my costa story

 **Balthazar**  
I’m only 15% sure that wasn’t a dream and I didn’t even have it  
better go find some santa costumes just in case

**Peter**  
  
also I am never going to get these presents wrapped before I drive home tomorrow  
**Balthazar**  
I can come help   
**Peter**  
yes  
I mean you don’t have to help  
but you should still come over

Balthazar tries not to be nervous as he makes his way toward Peter’s flat. He thinks about bringing his ukulele with him to give his hands something to do, but ultimately decides against it. He jots down ideas for lyrics all throughout his train ride over, which helps the time go that much quicker.

It’s Ben that answers the door to the flat, though Peter’s standing just behind.

“Balthazar!” Ben says excitedly. “I had a feeling we’d be seeing more of you.”

“Okay, congratulations, you got to the door first,” Peter says, shouldering Ben out of the way. “Hi,” he says to Balthazar before pulling him into a hug.

“Hi,” Balthazar says back, the word getting caught in Peter’s t-shirt. He feels warm all over, and not just from the walk.

“If I can make Ben go away, can I kiss you?”

Balthazar’s eyes widen, and he doesn’t answer right away, because his first response is nearly _Ben doesn’t have to go away for you to kiss me_. He second-guesses himself, though, and takes a second too long to respond.

“Sorry,” Peter says, moving his hands from Balthazar’s hips and making a face like he’s done something stupid. “I shouldn’t—”

“No,” Balthazar protests, reaching for him at the same time that Ben covers his eyes, steps away toward the kitchen and dramatically announces, “Fine, I get it, I can take a hint.”

“It’s alright, you just, um, caught me off-guard,” Balthazar says, stepping close and circling his arms around Peter’s waist.

Peter’s lips part as he meets Balthazar’s gaze. Balthazar feels his breath hitch just slightly as Peter moves toward him, brushing their lips together tentatively at first, then more firmly. Balthazar pulls him closer and deepens the kiss, giving in for a moment to that heady feeling he gets when he’s around Peter.

“Right,” Peter says as they pull away, stuttering out a laugh. “So, um, welcome back to the flat.”

Balthazar cups his hand on the back of his neck, feeling his cheeks redden as Peter goes to shut the front door. “Thanks.”

Peter leads Balthazar to his room before calling out, “Safe to come out now, Ben!” He shuts the door to his room before Ben has a chance to respond.

The leftover wrapping paper from the flat challenge is strewn about Peter’s room, and Balthazar has to laugh. “You couldn’t have set aside what you needed before we destroyed it in the challenge?”

“Ben didn’t exactly give me the option,” Peter says as he picks up a triangular piece and kneels down to attempt taping it onto the partially-wrapped gift on the bed. “Plus, there’s no way I’m going near the shops today.”

Balthazar kneels next to him and helps workshop the paper scraps into complete wrapping jobs, the two of them laughing at each ridiculous attempt.

They have so many pieces of useless tape that is taped to itself that Peter decides to piece them together into something like a necklace.

“What the hell is this?” Balthazar says, laughing, as Peter goes to put it around Balthazar’s neck.

“Shh, it’s your Christmas present,” Peter says, giggling as he fixes part of it that had immediately fallen apart. “Gorgeous,” he continues, the laugh fading into a more serious look as he meets Balthazar’s gaze.

Peter licks his lips, and Balthazar’s eyes drift to the sight immediately. This time, neither of them hesitate. Balthazar tilts his head and parts his lips, capturing Peter’s bottom lip between his own. Peter utters a satisfied _mm_ as he returns the kiss, his hands grabbing at Balthazar’s back as he moves into Peter’s space. Peter’s lips part on a sharp breath as Balthazar flicks his tongue out against Peter’s lips, and Balthazar takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into Peter’s mouth. Peter responds immediately, his tongue teasing against Balthazar’s and his hands pulling Balthazar even closer.

Peter’s shirt rides up a bit where Balthazar has rested his hand, and Peter moans when Balthazar’s hand slides against warm skin. Suddenly Balthazar realizes he’s practically in Peter’s lap. He pulls back reluctantly, not wanting to take things too far, though it takes him a second to remember why.

“I guess I’m not doing too well at the whole ‘go slow’ thing,” Balthazar admits. He moves a little more out of Peter’s personal space, waiting for his heart rate to return to normal.

“I really don’t mind,” Peter says emphatically, but then his expression shifts to one of worry. “I mean, unless I’m pushing you to do something you don’t want—”

“No! No, nothing like that,” Balthazar says quickly, cutting him off. “I’m not, heh, not unhappy about anything that’s happened, I just, I dunno.”

Peter moves his hand gently over Balthazar’s shoulder, soothing him. “Maybe we should better define what ‘go slow’ means. Like, if we could say what’s off limits then we won’t have to worry about doing the wrong thing.”

“Yeah, alright,” Balthazar agrees. He doesn’t like that he’s making Peter have to go through this.

“So, I assume kissing's alright?"

"Kissing is definitely alright," Balthazar confirms.

"What about kissing in front of other people?"

Balthazar thinks about this for a second. "I'd say yeah. I mean, I don't wanna be rude and, like, make out in front of people instead of talking to them. But, y'know, some kissing is okay." 

“So earlier with Ben…?”

“You could’ve kissed me,” Balthazar says. “I wanted you to kiss me. I just might’ve pulled away a bit sooner.”

Peter smiles. “I’m okay with how it happened, then.”

Feeling a sudden spike of bravery, Balthazar takes a deep breath. “Honestly, if we could just say sex is off the table until we’re both ready and we talk about it, that would make me feel a lot better.”

“Of course,” Peter says sincerely. “Hey, after you told me you were demi, I read up on it a bit. Is that weird?”

“It really isn’t,” Balthazar assures him, feeling suddenly warm all over.

“And anyway, I know that maybe you’ll never wanna go that far. And that’s fine; it doesn’t matter. I wanna be with you.”

Balthazar’s heart skips a beat, and in a moment he’s closed the distance between them again. He kisses Peter slowly, sweetly, pouring everything he’s feeling at the moment into the kiss. “Thank you,” he says. “You have no idea what it means to me… that you care about all this.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” Peter says. “It’s part of who you are. Of course I care.”

Balthazar stares at the carpet for a moment, his heart beating frantically in his chest. He has the equally thrilling and terrifying realization that he could fall in love with this guy. He might even be on his way there.

Peter reaches for his hand and squeezes it. “Watch another movie?” he suggests, and Balthazar agrees immediately. They set aside all the spare wrapping supplies and move to the bed, sitting much closer together this time.

“Just so you know, after all this Christmas craziness is over, I do plan on taking you on a real date,” Peter says as they start up _Home Alone_.

“You don’t think Boyet’s is a real date?”

“Not when Mother Ben interrupts and calls me home,” Peter says.

“Hmm, good point. But yesterday’s not the first time we went to Boyet’s,” Balthazar points out.

Peter’s smile lights up his face. “Yeah, those were good times. But I consider that more the ‘winning you over’ part of our story than the ‘dating’ part.”

Balthazar grins like an idiot at the thought that they have a story. “Yeah, okay. So first real date, January?”

“Already looking forward to it,” Peter says just as the family on-screen realizes they’ve overslept.

After the movie, which is interrupted by lunch with the flat and goodbyes as the others head out, Peter takes the memory card from the camera and edits yesterday’s flat challenge footage while Balthazar watches. It’s bizarre to see himself on camera, especially when he sees the very obvious way he looks at Peter the entire time. Kind of nice, though, when he gets to likewise see how Peter looks at him when he’s not paying attention.

“So I guess you guys still do the vlogging thing?”

“Ben still does them occasionally,” Peter says. “I think it’s his way of, I dunno, coping with life or something. I’m not in them much anymore unless it’s a flat thing.”

“‘Cause you don’t want to, or…?”

“Don’t have anything to say, really. I don’t exactly mind being filmed, but I did a lot of stupid stuff last year that is now out there on the internet forever, no matter what I want to do about it.”

“That’s rough.”

“Yeah. I mean, I’m over it now, we’ve all moved on.” Peter pauses for a second with a far-off look in his eye. After a moment, he continues, “Might be fun to post something next year, though. Kind of a new year, new beginning type thing.” He bumps his shoulder against Balthazar’s. “Interested?”

Balthazar laughs, pleased. “I’m not sure I’d have much to say, but I’d be happy to try. Maybe you can help me film a song or two.”

“Oh man, that’d be brilliant! We should get your stuff out there. Let the rest of the world see how talented you are.”

Even though it always makes him blush, Balthazar will never get over hearing Peter compliment his music. “No pressure,” he jokes, brushing his lips over Peter’s cheek. Peter smiles and turns his head to slide their lips together in a sweet kiss.

The video editing takes longer than Balthazar would have expected, though it’s fun to help Peter decide what to keep in or take out. They also maybe get distracted when Balthazar catches the long look Peter had given him when he’d tied the first bow on his wrist.

“I have to leave really early tomorrow morning,” Peter says as Balthazar gets ready to leave. “But I’d like to see you, if that’s alright.”

“How early is ‘really early’?” Balthazar says, though of course he’s going to say yes.

“Seven?” Peter says with a bit of a grimace. “I could come to you, though. Just to, y’know, see you for a few minutes before I go.”

“We could do breakfast,” Balthazar suggests.

“Oh god, that sounds amazing in theory, but I’m gonna be way too tired to enjoy it properly.”

“That’s fair.”

“We should totally do that after I get back, though.”

“It’s a date,” Balthazar says, circling his arms around Peter and moving in for a kiss.

Ten minutes later, he finally makes it out the door with a promise to pick up where they left off in the morning.

***

DECEMBER 24

Balthazar greets Peter the next morning with a cup of coffee. "It's not Boyet's, but it's still coffee."

"Oh god, you are the best. I didn't have time to make any before I left." Peter takes the travel mug and wraps his other arm around Balthazar's shoulders as Balthazar moves into his space for a kiss.

They sit on the low wall in front of Rosa’s apartment and chat for a bit while Peter drinks his coffee. Peter talks about the playlist he stayed up late making for the drive and how he’d like a copy of one of Balthazar’s songs to add by the time he drives home. Balthazar blushes and promises he’ll send him something.

“I should go,” Peter says, stretching as he stands. “I can’t imagine the traffic is gonna be fun.”

“Drive safe,” Balthazar says, standing with him. His hands slide along Peter’s arms as they come together for a kiss, finally grabbing at the back of Peter’s t-shirt as their tongues slide together. They continue like that for a few minutes, Peter’s hands warm on his back.

“Ugh, I don’t wanna go,” Peter whines into Balthazar’s shoulder as they pull away from the kiss, clinging even harder to him.

Balthazar laughs, clinging right back. “When will you be back?”

Peter sighs, pulling away just enough to meet Balthazar’s gaze. “I’m not sure. Hopefully in a couple of days, but I don’t know with my family. They might guilt me into staying longer.”

Balthazar shrugs, knowing they’ll be able to pick up where they left off once Peter gets back. “That’s okay. I’ll text you.”

“Yes, please,” Peter says with a smile. “I’ll call you too, when I can. Oh, and I’ll definitely be back for New Year’s. You don’t have plans, do you?”

He hadn’t actually thought about New Year’s yet, but the fact that Peter takes it almost as a given that they’ll spend it together makes his heart beat faster. “Nope. Free as a bird.”

"You should come to the flat. The extra room will be freed up if you want to stay over."

“Yeah,” Balthazar says, his head buzzing with possibilities. “That'd be good.”

Peter pulls Balthazar into another hug, and Balthazar fits easily against him. "It's gonna be weird not seeing you every day," Peter murmurs.

Balthazar buries his smile into Peter's shoulder briefly. "You're coming right back, you know."

"I know." He squeezes Balthazar one last time before pulling away. "Okay. I have to get in the car now or I'll never leave."

Balthazar’s chest aches suddenly, and he gives into the impulse to pull Peter into another kiss that quickly turns heated.

“You’re not helping,” Peter says when they finally stop to breathe, tilting his forehead against Balthazar's.

“I know, sorry,” Balthazar says with a grin that says he’s not at all sorry. “Something to remember me by.”

“As if I could forget,” Peter says, pressing a kiss to Balthazar’s temple before stepping away. This time Balthazar doesn’t stop him. As he’s opening his car door, Peter says, “I’ll call you when I get there.”

“Yeah, good,” Balthazar responds. “I’ll text you if you promise not to read them while you’re driving.”

“Deal.”

***

DECEMBER 25

Balthazar spends most of Christmas day obsessing over Peter’s song. He’s been working on one for a while, first hypothetically and then with more certainty when Peter made his feelings known. He sings about metaphorical super powers and coffee and walks and pretend boyfriends that become real. Costa even gets a mention, though it’s an obscure enough reference that he could always deny it if he wanted to.

He asks Rosa to help him record a video of it, then feels guilty when it takes over an hour to get a take he’s finally happy with.

“I’m glad he makes you happy,” is all Rosa says when the recording is done.

When he calls Peter to tell him about the video, Peter doesn’t give him a chance to say anything right away.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” Peter says quietly. Balthazar tries not to feel nervous as he hears the sound of a door close on Peter’s end. Peter’s voice is stronger when he goes on, “I kind of told my family I was seeing someone.”

“Oh yeah?” Balthazar says, his heart suddenly racing.

“Yeah, they noticed that I was like, constantly texting you, and it just kind of slipped out.”

“So did you just, like, tell them you were seeing somebody to get them off your back?” Balthazar asks, not judging, just curious. He doesn’t want to assume this means more than it does.

“I told them you were my boyfriend. Um. And showed them your picture.”

“Oh.” Balthazar’s face is so warm he thinks about turning the air conditioning up in the flat.

“Is that okay?”

“Yeah,” Balthazar says. He bites his lip for a moment, then reminds himself to say what he feels. “I’m really flattered, actually.”

“Apparently it’s ‘ridiculously obvious’ that I’m seeing someone. John said I was too happy to have just been texting a friend.”

“Speaking of ridiculously obvious,” Balthazar says, swallowing, “I kind of, um, uploaded your Christmas present to the internet.”

Peter repeats a mantra of “what?” and “oh my god” until he gets to his computer and pulls it up. Balthazar has to listen for two minutes and fourteen seconds of agony while Peter watches the video, waiting for his response. Luckily, he can hear the catches in Peter’s breath and the soft laughs along the way, and he has a feeling that the response will be good.

“This is amazing!” Peter exclaims, and Balthazar is pretty sure he’s playing it again. “You’re amazing. Oh my god.”

“You like it?” Balthazar repeats unnecessarily.

“I love it. So much. Oh my god, you are so cute.” Peter goes quiet for a moment, then laughs at what Balthazar’s pretty sure is the Costa part. “This is seriously the best thing anyone’s ever done for me. I wish I was there.”

“Me too,” Balthazar says. He would’ve been so embarrassed to perform such a direct song to the person it was about, but it would’ve been worth it to be able to see Peter’s face right now. “I’m really glad you like it.”

Peter sighs. “I know it’s only been, like, a day and a half, but I really miss you.”

“I miss you too,” Balthazar says honestly. It’s kind of ridiculous how used to seeing Peter daily he’s become.

“So, look, I’m going to ask you something, and it’s kind of a big question, so it’s totally okay if you don’t want to give me an answer right away. Or if the answer’s no, that’s fine, I just… Anyway. I wondered what you’d think about maybe moving into the fourth bedroom in our flat?”

“Oh,” Balthazar says, surprised. He doesn’t know what he expected Peter to ask, but it wasn’t that.

“I know you’re staying with your sister now, but I also know you don’t really feel like you belong there, and we have this extra room, so I just thought… and I’ve been texting with Ben and Freddie, and they’re both cool with it. You’d be saving the rest of us on rent. But it also might be weird for us to share a flat, so y’know, I don’t want you to feel like this is something you have to do. I just kinda had the thought and it seemed kind of perfect, to me. But like I said, think about it.”

It does seem kind of perfect. And as much as it makes Balthazar nervous to think about _really_ seeing Peter everyday, it’s a good kind of nervous. Excited, even. “I should probably think about it, um, and talk to my sister first, but, uh… heh, that sounds kind of awesome, actually.”

“Right?” Peter says, the excitement bleeding into his voice. “It’ll be so much easier to hang out, and you won’t have to worry about catching the train when we’re out, unless we’re catching it together. And the flat challenges will be ten times more fun if you’re doing them too.”

The longer Peter talks, the more sure Balthazar is that he’s going to say yes. This whole past year, he’s been lamenting his lack of friends and social life, and thanks to Peter and the play, he has that. The invitation to join the flat just proves it.

“I really want to say yes,” Balthazar admits, “but I think I should probably think about it for more than two minutes.”

“Sure, yeah, of course,” Peter says, and Balthazar can hear the huge smile in his voice. “Take all the time you need.” There is a muffled sound in the background on Peter’s end, and then Peter continues, “I’ve gotta go do family stuff for a bit. But I’ll call you later. That video… it’s seriously the coolest thing anyone’s ever done for me. Thank you so much.”

“I’m so glad you like it. I’ve been working on it for a while. When you get back, I’ll perform it for you.”

“Can’t wait,” Peter says softly. “Merry Christmas, Balthazar.”

“Merry Christmas, Peter.”

THE END


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Balthazar spends his New Year's Eve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couldn't resist one last coda. This is basically pure fluff. <3

Balthazar has never in his life been excited for New Year’s Eve. His family never really celebrated, though he’d always made an effort to watch the countdown and step outside in the hopes of seeing some fireworks before bed. The only time he’d gone to a party was with his then-boyfriend in Year 12. The party turned out to be mostly an excuse to drink, and the kiss he’d shared with his boyfriend at the time was hardly memorable.

This year is different, and not just because he’s excited to be with his boyfriend at midnight. Balthazar spends most of the day loading and unloading boxes, using a truck Peter borrowed from places unknown to move all his worldly possessions from one side of Wellington to the other. It’s official: Balthazar’s first full day of 2016 will also be his first full day as a part of Peter’s flat (though he needs to learn to call it his own flat; it's as much his as any of theirs, this time, even though Freddie has pointed out more than once that she signed the lease).

He’s both nervous and excited for the coming year. The loneliness of his first year at uni already feels like a distant memory. Costa is texting them intermittently about new play ideas (always with the caveat that they’d have to audition), Balthazar is looking forward to his new classes, and this whole thing with Peter is still new and amazing.

The moving process is a little more daunting than he remembered, though. While he’s trying to figure out a way to stack boxes on the floor instead of the bed, Peter comes in with the last box of books.

“Not on the bed,” Balthazar says before Peter can use the open space he just cleared.

“Are you sure?” Peter asks, though he’s already finding a spot along the wall. “It’ll be easier to unpack on the bed.”

“At this point, I don’t care if we don’t unpack another box,” Balthazar says, “I just want the bed accessible so I can _sleep_.”

Peter laughs. “Maybe it was a bad idea to do this on the day we’re supposed to stay up past midnight.”

Balthazar groans at that reminder. He looks at the boxes still on the bed and wonders how everything is going to fit. “What time is it?” he asks, walking over to circle his arms around Peter’s waist.

Peter hugs him tightly as he pulls his phone out of his pocket. “Just past 6.” He presses a kiss to Balthazar’s temple before suggesting, “We could grab a quick nap in my bed before supper?”

Balthazar feels a little thrill, because now they can do that as often as they want. “That sounds amazing,” he says, leaning heavily into Peter.

Freddie wakes them up loudly an hour later, announcing dinner. Balthazar is a touch too warm, though he settles into it comfortably when Peter grumbles into his shoulder. In a rush, he remembers where he is, smiling contentedly as he turns into Peter’s embrace.

“We should probably get out there,” Balthazar murmurs, though he doesn’t really follow up on his words, instead tracing his fingers over Peter’s shoulder and down his arm.

“Ben is probably going to bust in here any second,” Peter says in agreement. He lifts himself up just enough to lean in and brush his lips over Balthazar’s.

Balthazar reaches up to cup Peter’s jaw as he returns the kiss. They make out lazily for a moment before they hear the unmistakable sounds of Ben on his way to Peter’s room.

“WAKEY WAKEY!” Ben announces, knocking as he heads on into Peter’s room. They’ve both managed to at least sit up, though Peter’s hand is still resting warm over Balthazar’s in the middle of the bed. “Oh,” Ben says exaggeratedly.

“Alright, alright, we’re awake,” Peter says, shooting a glare at Ben. “We’ll be out in a second.”

“Don’t let me stop you,” Ben says, even though he clearly came in to stop them.

As Ben disappears back toward the kitchen, Peter says, “He’s just annoyed at the number of times we kept him and Bea from getting up to much while she was here.”

Balthazar squeezes Peter’s hand and leans in for one more kiss before finally getting out of bed.

Ben talks them into board games after dinner, then they’re all forced to write New Year’s resolutions and put them in a hat - or a box, when Ben can’t find a hat - to be read at the end of the following year.

Balthazar spends an inordinate amount of time thinking over his own resolution. He doesn’t want to assume too much about his relationship with Peter, but he’s feeling so warm and welcome in the flat that he has to comment on that in some way. In the end, he writes, _to make new music, to be social, to win as many flat challenges as possible, and to experience love._

He blushes as he folds his paper and throws it in the hat box. A gradual smile overtakes Peter’s expression as he catches the pink in Balthazar’s cheeks, and he says, “What? What did you write?”

“Guess you’ll have to wait ’til 2016 to find out,” Balthazar says.

Ben and Freddie both rush to Balthazar’s defense. “C’mon, Peter, we all agreed to wait,” Freddie says as Ben pulls the box away.

Peter just continues to smirk at him fondly. He leans down to add something to his own paper and throws it into the box.

“There’s still time to invite Kit over,” Balthazar says to Freddie when Ben steps away to FaceTime with Bea. He knows how it feels to be the odd person out, and from the way Peter’s been sticking to his side all night, he’s sure they’re going to be in their own world when midnight comes around.

“Oh,” Freddie says as if the thought hadn’t occurred to her. She reaches for her phone absently, then shakes her head. “That’s okay. I don’t think we’re really at the ‘countdown to midnight together’ stage of things."

"Still. I'm sure he'd want to see you."

But Freddie just shakes her head. "Don’t worry about me." She points at him, then at Peter. "Just remember we’re doing the leftover Christmas crackers after midnight.

"You got it," Peter answers for the both of them, draping his arm across Balthazar’s shoulders. As Freddie walks away, Peter leans in to ask, "Want to go outside and wait for fireworks?"

"Sure," Balthazar says, his heart racing at Peter's proximity. He waits until they're outside to ask, "Do I have to wait 'til midnight to kiss you?” Peter has been back in Wellington for four days, but what with all the planning and packing and moving, they haven’t really had a chance to have their moment.

Instead of answering out loud, Peter guides Balthazar around the side of the porch until his back is against the wall. Smiling, Balthazar leans up to meet him halfway in a fierce kiss. His hands bunch in Peter’s shirt as they kiss recklessly in this moment they finally have to themselves. Peter slides one hand over his hip and across his back as the other cups Balthazar’s neck, his fingers slipping through Balthazar’s hair. Peter’s so close that Balthazar can feel his heartbeat in counterpoint with his own.

“I can’t believe you’re really here,” Peter says an interminable amount of time later, a bit breathless. “Like, for good.”

“Can’t get rid of me now,” Balthazar says in agreement. Peter’s grin is wicked as he moves back in, this time pressing kisses along Balthazar’s jaw and down his neck. Balthazar fights not to moan as he fists Peter’s shirt in encouragement, drawing him closer.

By the time Ben and Freddie join them outside with the champagne, Balthazar can feel the pleasant sting on his neck of a future mark. He has to fight not to keep touching it, especially when Peter keeps glancing over at him. They are so bad at going slow.

They gather around Freddie’s phone to watch the seconds count down to midnight, shouting triumphantly as they tick over to the new year. Peter pulls Balthazar in for a kiss so quickly that he nearly spills his champagne, but Balthazar quickly catches up to return the sentiment. He pours all his hopes for a future with Peter into the kiss, which is much more tender than their kisses had been earlier in the night.

After that, they all toast to 2016, watch the fireworks, and Balthazar gives in to the impulse to sing “Auld Lang Syne”. The others sing along when they know the words, which isn’t much, but it makes Balthazar smile all the same.

He can just feel it. 2016 is going to be amazing.

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas & Happy New Year! <3


End file.
